Convicted & Conflicted | BAD DOG PODCAST #31

BAD DOG PODCAST w/ Austin Bohannon & Hunter Kiel

Sun’s out, beers cold, and the Bad Dogs are outside 🐕

This episode is straight summer energy—river hangs, boat bets, and the kind of stories you probably shouldn’t tell in public… especially when there’s a small group 20 feet away 😂

Vibes are high. Decisions are questionable.
 Welcome to BAD DOG.

RUFF RUFF

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You can drink, you can wait on the rain. Either way, it's gonna burn. Alright, well hey, cheers, we're back. Cheers, dude. We're back, and what a location. I'm not a wife beater, but I got one on. We go into Dollar General today to buy this. Everything that's out here at the setup, the kiddie pool, the styrofoam cooler, all of our beer, the chairs, everything's bought at Dollar General speaking. And uh Bo was like, man, I think I'm gonna get a wife beater. And he goes to ask the lady up front. And as soon as he's about to get wife beater out of his mouth, I'm like, bro, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just ask for a men's undershirt. I gotta hold the dog. Look at you, look at Jersey. Jersey, quit. We're trying to shoot a podcast. Bad dogs technology. Oh my God. You know, learn what we're doing. Yeah, dude, I was about definitely about to rip. Where's the wife beaters at? And they were gonna say, Well, we got two of them on aisle six. When they're walking in right now, yeah, they were people. That ain't me though, man. I'd never put a hand on a woman, but I will wear a wife beat. This is the first time I've ever owned one. You know, people used to wear these to school, man. These things are fly. It's old school, dude. I was watching a TV show, Better Call Saul, the other day, and Mike, the badass in that show, is wearing a wife beater and I looked at Lindsay and I said, Hey, should I start wearing those? She was like, Absolutely not. Yeah, it's kind of tough. It looks badass. Do I look badass? Well, I mean, you look pretty. I ain't gonna toot your horn here, but I'll say you look pretty good, yeah. Do I look badass? If I had bigger tattoos, if I had bigger arms and tattoos, bro, I'd be I feel like such a douchebag, man. No, what's so cool about this is the whole setup's from Dollar General, man. Other than the beach balls. The beach balls are from Academy, but yeah, you can't see it, but we got a kitty pool down here that we were gonna like dab our feet in. We were at Academy, and the guy was like, Why do I got a feeling that you two are gonna take that thing and end up on YouTube? Old man and Hunter goes, How'd you know? You a fan of the podcast? But hey, dude, summer is almost here. That's the point of this pod, right? Summer's here, beers are rolling, the mo the weather's back, and this is the best time of the year, honestly, in Alabama, April, mid-April. Yeah, dude. I think that everybody looks forward to summer so much, and then it gets here and you realize every year that, God, it's balls hot out here. It's 80% humidity and 100 degrees. You get to about April and May, and you just want to, you just kind of want to wish it away to get to June and July, but you you really got it made in April and May. Yep. Yep. It's having the good times without knowing it, dude. It's the best time for real. So we were talking about like you think of golf, you think of summer. But in reality, it's the wor it's one of the worst times to play golf. It is, yeah. May and October. April, May, October, November are the best times. It's perfect. It's also the best time to go to the beach. It is, dude. You're exactly right. People associate June and July with that, but it shouldn't be. The last place you want to be is at the beach for 4th of July. Yeah, it's what I dude. I associate it with like my air conditioning bill being 340 bucks. Oh, yeah, dude, it's ridiculous. Too hot. We got a straggler over here. What's up, brother? Yeah. Welcome in. Excuse our language here in a few minutes. Sorry. We got beers in the cooler if you want them. He got some Mickey D's. Heck yeah. Got some slop. But no, we're at the beautiful McFarlane Park down here in Florence, Alabama, right on the Tennessee River here. Thank God for public land, man. Dude, we were saying that. We were like, man, thank God for public property, because this isn't mine and Bo's property, let me tell you. I pay my taxes to Israel so we can come out here to McFarlane Park and hang out. I actually had to send a couple thousand to Israel and a couple thousand to Ukraine so we could come hang out here at McFarland Park. Yep, I appreciate it. We'll we'll thank that. We'll send some thank you notes out. Yeah, dude, it's dope. I think next week we said we're going to do the loft downtown. Sun's out, man. Uh, did you see the Morgan Wall Morgan Wallin concert everybody went to? Dude, so I heard that Airbnb's in Tuscaloosa were getting as much money as home football games for his concert in Frank Denny. Yeah. And the breaking news about that is he walked out with Nick Sabin and not Kalen De Boer. Yeah, I mean, why couldn't they both do it? Dude, where's Kalen De Boer? Like, you want to get your fan base fired up, dude. You know Kalen De Boer's team hit up Morgan Wallen before they even reached out to Nick Sabin. They're like, we would love to walk out with you. And then he got a bunch of booze. So, dude, I heard he was at the uh softball game. I don't know if it was like a playoff softball game or what, but he was at the Alabama softball game instead of and Bryant Denny that. Were they playing away? No, they were playing at home, but he was there. Don't look. Guess the color of the boat that just went behind us. I don't know. Red? I'm gonna say camo.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

You ask camo.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Have you seen it before? No, they're all camo. They're bass boats. Oh, I gotta finish my beer. That'll be the bet for the day. How about that? That'll be the bet. Explain it, explain it, explain it. We were just gonna bet on which uh, well, we were gonna do jump in the water, but it's freezing cold. We were gonna bet what the color of the boat that goes by, and I realized after watching like two or three boats when we got here that most of them are camo. Most bass boats, because we we said you couldn't do black or white. Pretty much every other bass boat is camo. It's camo, yeah. That's the most common. I just knew when it was coming that it was camo. That'll be a good bet. How about this? So if we hear a boat coming by, we guess the color each. Who if we have if you're right, the other person finishes their drink, and if you're wrong, you finish your drink. So we've got a little double down here. All right, bet, let's do it. But hey, you were speaking about Tuscaloosa and the rooms being high. Yeah, dude. We were playing in Tuscaloosa, and I told Jordan because we were playing there Thursday and Friday, and we were driving back. But he had to play there Saturday, too. He's like, I'll just get a place, I'll stay the whole time. I told him, I said, I'll get you a room down there. He said, All right. Yeah. So because we got a place we stay at. It's the Ramada, but we call it the Rashidta. The Rashidta? Every time we stay there, we sleep past 11. The guy would be like, good top, good top. But uh he called the Rashida, and you know how much rooms were? Normally they're 60 bucks at the Rashidta. Oh, what were they? That's so cheap, too, by the way. 600 a night. 10x over. 10x for the Morgan Wallen night. He asked if there was anywhere else that they could say, and they said, No, it's gonna be like that everywhere. Yeah, I mean, dude, it makes sense. I had a so I owned an Airbnb in Tuscaloosa for what, I guess, two and a half years, and bro, when there was a big event like that, we would triple, quadruple the price for every night, you know? And dude, honestly, that the home football games and graduation weekend, you're making bank off of it, you know? Well, people are gonna pay it, too. I mean, because I mean, you got all these people that are from out of state, they they rip the out-of-state tuition. It's like an extra 10 grand for their daughter to go there. Well, they're coming with their daughter for the first concert in Brian Denny in 24 years. Bro, come on. They're like $8,000 for an Airbnb for the weekend? Oh, that ain't nothing. I'll rip it. Absolutely. You know, the rich guy from South Carolina who sent his daughter to Alabama, is like, oh, Morgan Wallen's there. Let me bring my girlfriend with me. Let's go have a big time. Yeah. Let's get a suite. Yeah. It's that dude from the Coldplay concert. Yes, dude. He gets called at the Morgan Wallin concert. He's like, damn it, I can't go nowhere, man. I just want to cheat. Dude, it's so funny. They were hugged up and they just got up, got away immediately, and then it just all goes downhill. The uh what was I about to say? Oh, think about how much the city made, dude. Probably a hundred million dollars. Like, I think about I'm talking about everything down to a McDonald's like McDonald's sales. Yeah. The whole city sales. I mean, I'm thinking, what, a hundred million dollars probably. The concert itself might have made a hundred million dollars. So Bryant Denny seats a hundred thousand. I think they had it um they had it 80% open, so there was 80,000 people there. It's more than a hundred bucks a ticket. Oh, dude, it was it was it was three or four hundred dollars a ticket. You got you got millions right there. Then, not to mention the Airbnb sales, not to mention all the food, not to mention all the alcohol, not to mention all the city taxes on every bit of that. There is no telling how much the city made. 50 million? I bet they made 50 million. Oh, damn, dude. Why don't they do that more often? Is there not enough big enough acts that could sell it out? Or Dude, I'm sure there's a lot that goes into that. That's probably been planned for a year, right? Yeah, who else could sell out an arena other than like a college arena? Zach Bryan. Zach Bryan sold out Death Valley. And Garth Brooks sold out Death Valley, which is kind of cool. It's as big as Brian's. Taylor Swift could sell out a college stadium. Yeah, she could, but it's not her vibe to do a college stadium. Yeah. I was playing in Tuscaloosis. Everybody's hit me up because I play country. Can you imagine with the Taylor Swift concert? Yeah, hey, we want you to play the Taylor Swift pre-party. I'm like, hell, I can do our song a hundred times. Yeah. I don't know what else to tell you. It's the only one I know, it's the only one I like, that's the only one I'm listening to. That's true. Lindsay said she may uh she sold out the Nissan Stadium in National. That's a tight stuff. That doesn't seed as much as Alan. Not nearly, no. It's it's three-fifths of it, maybe. I think so. 60,000, 70,000 versus 100. Yeah. But they, whenever they do those concerts in a big football stadium, they chop off. Do I? No, Nissan Stadium's like 65 or 70. Yeah, oh, it definitely is. But they chop off about a fourth of the stadium where they put the stage, you know, so it's like a horseshoe looking at the stage. You know what I mean? Yeah, you have to block off the back. Otherwise, but they put them on the they put the floor, and they probably have 10 or 15,000 on the on the floor, like on the uh the field itself, right? Yeah. Otherwise, you'd have to do like the in the round thing that the comedians do.

unknown 9:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Do musicians do that? Yes, dude. Garth Brooks was the first person to ever do that. He did in the round? So you mean like when it rotates? No, well, so what they do is they do a circular stage in the middle so they can have everything and they have the thing that overhangs. You know what I mean? It would be badass. Yeah. I'm gonna be the first person to do that. I'm gonna do it at Flo Amma. Give me a rotating day. You're just gonna sit on one of the bar tables. It's just gonna be one. Just spin around in a spinny chair. What are those damn things called hoverboard? It's just gonna be me on a hoverboard. It doesn't matter how you get the Guinness World Record, you just gotta get it. You gotta get it somehow. That's right. Dude, you know what's funny? Uh, fun fact. We actually have a Guinness record here in Florence.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Really?

SPEAKER_01 9:45

The longest golf club toss. Have you not seen that? I think the guy's name is Zach Featherstone. I believe. I could be wrong, but there's a Guinness World Record, and it's in the record book, and it says that what happened in Florence, Alabama during COVID, some dude threw a freaking golf club like 68 yards. How do they I mean was somebody there to like somebody's there to witness? Is it a Guinness personality? They send out one of the Guinness representatives and they have to watch it happen. I don't know. If you give meat that? I was about to say, if you give me 20 beers and get me on the golf course, I think I could throw it further than that. If this is an actual record that was set in Florence, Alabama, I think that we make it a point if we go to a golf course and we get a Guinness representative out here. Let's go in my backyard first. Yeah, and see how to do that. That's where all the dreams start. Tiger Woods started in his backyard with a wedge in his hand. We start in my backyard. It's about 80 yards to that shop. Yeah. If we can get it, if we can hit that damn shop, we call we'll call up Guinness. Listen, I'm just saying right now, you and I can throw some shit pretty good. I think we might could throw a golf club. I think you got a better chance than me. I think we both do. Man, I got that lefty thing, whatever that is. That slow twitch lefty. Yeah. Slow twitch lefty. Might catch the wind the right way. Well, I think you've got to throw a heavier club. Something that'll get some weight behind it. That'll kind of carry. No, I think like a four-iron. Actually, let me take that back. I think a six-iron would be easiest to throw the furthest. What about length? Does that matter? Well, my thought is like the heavier. Hang out. The heavier don't matter, does it? Tell it. Leave your comments. Length don't matter. It's about how funny you are. No, like, dude, I'm thinking if length matters, dude, get a belly putter. Dude, I'm sure there's well, actually, there's probably not a rule. If it's just a golf club, like, dude, you know you can't throw a driver as far as a wedge, right? Yeah, because there's light. Well, no, the the end of a wedge or the end of like a three-iron or four-iron is gonna be a lot heavier. So the heavier the club, I think it's kind of like inertia, right? So you throw it and then that kind of just carries it. I have no uh I've got some golf clubs in my truck. I'm too far removed from my uh they better start a fire. They might. Dude, I've got uh I've got Nate's golf clubs in the back of my truck. I might just let one of Nate's rip down the fairway here and see what happens. Sorry, Nate's. Oh, dude, that's 60 yards right there. Yeah, dude. Okay, we'll clip it after. Will you do it? No, I'm not throwing Nate's clubs. Oh, dude, actually, I think I have some old wedges in my truck. Oh, sweet. Like some old Cleveland. Just wait for the cars to move, maybe. Yeah, but we're happy Gilmore's. Dude, let me tell you the story real quick. Lindsay was there for this. She watched this happen. No, never mind. You weren't. We were walking out of uh Death Valley this past year, the night that Brian Kelly got fired, whenever they lost big to AM. And I was just pissed, dude. I had a um, we had walked by one of like the beer salesmen outside, you know, they carry the damn carts of beer. This is outside the stadium. I buy like three or four beers for the boys, and I was holding one of those tall boy nickelobes that's got like the uh the tall bottleneck, you know. And I'm just pissed, and I've got about this much left in the beer, and it's kind of getting hot, and I just let it rip, but it was kind of slick, and it just dude. I literally just tried to throw it straight into the woods, and it like slipped out, and the woods like stopped probably 45 degrees this way, and it just kind of just slipped straight out and went straight up in the air, right? And fell right on top of a truck. Sure enough, there's somebody. I'm gonna go yellow. Camo. Red. I think it's red. Red and black. I'm going red. I guess we both finished our drinks. We were both wrong. We were both wrong. Let's just both finish our drinks. Damn, I got a full beer. All right. Did you crack the windshield? No, I landed on the sunroof and it didn't crack, thank God, but it sounded like a gunshot. Dude, the guy got out of the truck and had no clue I even threw it. But you can ask my buddies, I felt so bad that I walked over there and apologized, and I offered to pay him. And we got up, he got up on his running boards and looked at it, and it was perfectly fine. It just hit the glass and bounced off. I felt so bad. It was one of those uh aluminum can tall boys. Those things suck. Dude, they're brutal. They don't taste good either. Let's just be honest here that the when it comes to miclobes, the best ones are in a 12-ounce can. Oh, the bottle's good too. Really? I guess any mick lobe other than like a 25-ounce tall boy, those are trash. Pretty good. And a uh the tall boy bottles, the sp the twist tops, those are trash. Yeah, they are. I don't like any of the tall boys really because they're pretty what it is. Yeah, can can we zoom in on me here? I've got a uh Can we zoom in on me, actually? Can we actually wait? Wait, no, zoom in on me. Ah no, you can zoom in on Bo. He looks a better one. Damn, zoom in on Boy. Okay, zoom in on me here. Here we go, boys. This is what we're having this afternoon. This is a sweet home Alabama beer right here, Coors Banquet. They they call that a pork chop in a can, is what they call it. I thought that was a Miller, but I guess Coors Banquet isn't a big one. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, this is a beef brisket in a can.

unknown 14:34

Beef brisket.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

What's a micelobe? Just a fillet in a can? Oh, that's fillet in a can for sure. Fillet in a can. What's another beer? Uh, I don't know. Let's go. There's another boat, don't look. You f dude. I looked right at it.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

There's kids, don't look.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Guess what it is? It's just me? Yeah, it's just you. I ain't gonna do camo again. Camo. Camo. It's camo. Dude, if you got a bass boat, it's camo. It's camo, 100%. Well, dude, they call those wrapped, right? They wrap them. Yeah. You know, and that was a wrap. I mean, yeah, some I guess they do. They're all technically wrapped, yeah. But you can buy them wrapped, but you can also get them wrapped.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

But I mean, dude, if you're a bass fisherman. Why's it got to be camo, bro? Can the fish see it for real? Is that why? Like, why is it camo?

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Oh, that makes sense. No, the fish is a camo boat so the fish can't see it. Is that it, though? That's definitely it. Okay. That's exactly it. That's why they dress camo in the woods. But I doubt the fish can see it. I don't think they can see it. How could you say that's stupid when you wear camo so a gear can't see it? It could just be the bottom of your boat. Because whether it's camo or white or black or aquamarine, whatever the hell it is, it's still a giant ass boat in the water. Actually, if you want the fish to not see you in the Tennessee River, get a color of some dirty ass water on your boat. You'll blend right in. Doo-doo brown, doo-doo brown water. Doo-doo brown water. And won't no fish be able to see you. You'll catch all the fish, bro.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

How has nobody thought of camouflaging their boat?

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Yeah, dude. What do you think? I mean, I don't fish, but I think I've got something figured out. I would never get in this water. If you gave me a hundred dollar bill right now, I'm not getting in this water. Nah. This is runoff from the caterer. Well, not even that. I'm just saying I could, it could be middle of the summer. If you gave me $100, this is all that runoff from all those factories in Decatur. I'm touching the Tennessee River. You would rather get into the bottom of the dam than the top of the dam. Yeah, I guess because it runs. No, it doesn't filter it. No, it doesn't filter it, but it's it's less bullshit because this is always flowing. There's a there's current. You're right. Or there's current. It's always flowing. The top of the dam, the worst part to get at the top of the dam would be right by the dam. Okay. Because everything's just sitting on it. Sitting there. Just sitting and just shitting. There is big current here. Yeah. There's big current. So I mean, this would be the place. I mean, you've heard about people like jumping off these bluffs, which that's Gary Baker's house right there. Shout out to Mr. Gary Baker. Oh, shout out Brett Baker, too. Shout out to Brett, too. Shout out to Cole also. Shout out to Nicole and Amanda. And Amanda.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Drop his ass. Let's drop his ass.

unknown 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Hey, let's drop his social security number right here. But people jump off these bluffs in Sheffield. I don't know if they jump off those. That's a huge bluff. That's 200 feet. What kills them is that they'll go down and they'll get caught in the undertow. I had a kid that I went to school with at Deschler. He jumped off and his brother his brother jumped off, sorry. And he went down, he got caught in the undertow, and then you don't know whether you're swimming up or down. Oh, your equilibrium gets off and you just It gets off. So you're you you think you're swimming up because it's just and you could be swimming down the whole time. It's like vertigo underwater, huh? Yeah, I don't know what your best bet is to do. Maybe just take it. Dude, yeah, that's brutal. You probably just don't don't swim because you'll naturally float up. Yeah, but I mean it could take some time, huh? Oh, you're saying the undertow pulls you? But eventually you would float. You would float up, but you could already be dead by then, right? Depends on how long you hold your breath, I guess. I can't hold my breath long at all. Dude, I get anxious about holding my breath. Yeah. If you hit a belly flop, that's your best chance, actually. Because you're not going in deep. Think about it. You're spread out. It's like hitting conjugate. Well, yeah, I mean, if you survive the impact. So if you if you hit a belly flop and you survive the impact, that's your best bet because you're not going to go as deep as you would if you did a pencil. We've all been in a swimming pool before. I don't know. How do you get to the bottom? You don't belly flop to get to the bottom because if you belly flop, you stay towards the top. If you want to touch the bottom of the pool, you pencil. Yeah, dude. And you go straight down. I'm looking at that giant bluff over there, and in my head, I'm like, dude, if I jumped off of that belly flop, you're dead. I'm thinking pencil, the current's not as strong right now. Now, if the dam's wide open, if the dam's wide open. What color's the boat? It's not camo. I haven't looked. There's no way it's camo. I'm going blue. Dark blue. I'm going. You can't go black or white. Uh camo. It's fucking camo, dude.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

It's the same boat. It's the same guy, dude. He's swimming around. It's got to be the same boat.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Give that some bitch him. You don't have to finish your beer. That's the same guy dicking me. He's watching the live stream. This guy's on Twitch right now. But dude, uh, speaking of bluffs, uh, something I wanted to talk about is like, do you remember how big a swimming pool used to feel when you were a kid? Huge. It felt massive. Dude, I mean, like, it felt like the biggest thing ever. Hell yeah. Do we have the show? Hell, is he in the shot? Is he in my shot? Can I throw him a beer? Hell yeah, he's in my shot. Hold on, I'm gonna throw him a beer. Ask him if he wants one before you throw it. Hey, brother, you want a beer? You want a beer? Okay. It looks like he's got one. That's awesome, dude. Hell yeah. Um what I was getting at though is do you remember that third platform at Point Mallard? Yeah. Or not the third, well, the third. I never saw it with my own. I jumped off the top one at Point Mallard. No, the third one. You jumped off the third one. They had it closed my whole childhood, I thought. No, it was the second one. It was the second one. Yeah, because somebody did a belly flop, like you said, and died. But do you remember the fear of God in you when you got to that second platform at Point Mallard? All you had to do was not look, get off the ladder, and run and go. Instead, you walk to the edge, you look over, and you see how far it is. I mean, I was just decrepit with fear. I just got cerebral palsy with fear, bro. I mean, bro, I would get that way just from ten feet, but yeah, I've jumped off that second one. I remember being like, oh God. I remember thinking that the uh the big bouncy ones that were next to it, the tall diving boards.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

The tall ones, I mean, they were high, but I got them figured out and I thought, there's no way, because by the time I'm jumping up, I'm almost to the first platform. There's no way that it's that big of a difference. By God, it is.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Yeah, it is a huge difference. Then all the like the locals, like the little river rats, get to bounce in on the high dive. Have you ever seen them bounce off the high dive and grab onto that second platform and like flip themselves off? They'll like double bounce the high dive and like go towards the second and like push off of it.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

People just want to, they don't like they're not scared of dying. I'm so scared of getting hurt that it's crazy. One of our good buddies is like that. You know, Dell Thomas used to do that. Dell Thomas would do double gainers off a cliff a hundred feet. Just no fear of death, no fear. No fear at all. Dude, Dell jumped off a house. Have you seen that video?

unknown 21:39

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Did he not get hurt? Yeah, he hurt. He got hurt. I mean, I I don't think he got seriously injured, but he definitely got hurt. Like he bruised the shit out of himself. Is it liquid courage or was he just crazy? Just crazy. He was sober as a duck. Dale didn't drink that much. I'll get drunk and do something's like you don't, dude. You're so vanilla when it comes to life. Oh, buddy. Here's the one. He's like seatbelt. Just three over the speed limit guy. Dude, here's what's bad about it is, and this is what's so hypocritical almost. I am like the least risk taker ever, right? Right. I hate, I don't speed, I wear my seatbelt. If I'm even close to the side of like something that I could fall off of, hell no. But by God, I'll drink 80 beers in one night and 10 fireball and 25, whatever you want to give me, I'll drink them. And that is that's gotta be nearing death closer than some of the things I've done in my life. Like, hey, it's a slow kill. More of a slow burn guy. Hey, but I don't eat seed oils. He didn't eat seed oils, but he'll crush you under beers. I'll have 40 beers on a Wednesday, but by God, I don't eat sunflower oil. Hell no. I'm the same way, dude. I won't ever look to see what's in a damn beer, but I'll dude. I'll get a meat stick of a, oh, it's got monosodium glutamate. I don't even know what that is, dude. Oh, I can't get it. It's got monosodium glutamate. Same way, dude. But uh that's so funny because dude, I'll go off a I'll come off a bender, dude. I'll have 40 beers Friday, 40 beers Saturday, 20 beers Sunday. Monday morning, I'm like, I'm getting my life together. Today things change. I go to Publix and I'm buying groceries for me and Lindsay. And I know today's the day. I go to I go on Monday, I go to the grocery store and I'm looking at every ingredient on everything, and I'm like, Xanthem gum? Xanthem gum? I'm not eating that.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

I don't even chew gum.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Hell no, yeah, I'm not eating that shit. Yeah, oh, this is some kind of fake sugar. Oh, hell no, I'm not, I'm not doing that. But by God, I will drink 180 beers on a weekend and not think twice. It's so hypocritical. I'm like gluten-free every every Monday. Yeah, every Monday, dude. I eat nothing but just steak and damn rice and quinoa. And I'm like, oh. I eat a bunch of greens. I'm like, oh, dude, I'm Are the yellow in my eyes gone? You know what's funny? I go like Monday to Wednesday, and I'm like, oh, this is this is great. I'm back on track. And then Thursday, Bo's like, what are you doing? I'm like, um, hanging at the house. Hell, you want to go uh eat at Pie Factory? I'm like, yeah, I'll be there. Yeah. 28 beers later on Thursday, and I'm Ubering home. I think you can attest, I think you can attest for me, at least this year, but I feel like last year I was the same. I am I or I've become not a winter drinker. Very true. I always lock it in a little bit and dial it back a little bit. Like this year, I really dialed it back during the uh during the winter. I don't know if I think it's because like you're already a little depressed in the winter. You've got seasonal depression. So when I'm hung over in the winter, it's cold outside and we're already staying indoors, it's miserable. I mean, when you're hungover in the summer, honest to God, you just get out and you sweat it out and you figure it out. Yeah, I think you're right. So there's something about drinking in the summer that's wet or spring fall, something about drinking in the summer that's just it it doesn't hurt as bad. Drinking in the sunshine with some warmth on you. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. Maybe the vitamin D helps break down the stuff. I'm gonna say it's the Jimmy Buffett mentality. Dude was always just drinking in the sun, right? It's five o'clock somewhere, right? It's five o'clock somewhere. Yeah. But you know, it may not be five o'clock in Alaska. You know, they may be bunkered up and they're Shauna telling ghost stories. Dude, I got a buddy who lives in Minnesota and he always says, We have the highest birth rate in America. And I'm like, why? He's like, well, he goes, think about it. For six months, we're just shacked up drinking wine and having sex. Kind of makes sense. That's all they do. Yeah. Dude, I go up there every year. I went ice fishing last year. What do you do up there? Dude, I actually slept on my buddy's couch. Drank 80, drank 180 beers. Yeah, drank 180 beers, Lindsay, I promise. Dude, I do want to bring up one thing on the podcast because I say this every time. Nobody thinks you're gay, bro. Okay, yeah, thanks. My girlfriend's walking down the road right there. He's gonna denounce it, everybody. Nobody thinks it.

unknown 25:54

I'm just kidding. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Yeah, when I drink 180 beers, anything can happen. You just said you slept with your buddy on his couch. No, I said I slept on my buddy's couch. Oh, he he wasn't on it. No, he was in his bedroom. Okay, my bad. It was negative 30. We had to cuddle, man. Give me a break. He didn't have AC. Yeah, he said we drank and have sex. He didn't say with, you know, it had to be like women or whatever. His girlfriend's gonna love this one. Kuball, shout out. You know Kuball. Yeah, he's a great man. But um, no, it's funny. Uh never slept with him, though. Every damn podcast, I always say we're gonna shout out Dan. We actually had to shout him out. We went to his wedding last weekend. Yeah, that was great. Him and Alex, two of our best friends, they're in uh New Zealand, Australia right now. Shout out Dan. Last weekend was one of a kind, dude. Seriously. Yeah, that was great. Salute to y'all's marriage. Congratulations on being a Catholic now. Hey, Catholicism. He's converted to Catholicism, which is one of you know the older religions, which means it's good. It's the oldest religion in the world. Which means it's good because a lot of people have been doing it. Yeah, it's been doing it for, I don't know, six thousand years. Is it that long? Catholicism? How does it come after Jesus? Well, it we're 2,600 years after Christ and Amno Domini, and I think the Bible is written over a couple thousand years, so let's just say 5,000 years. The first thing was Catholicism, right? No, Muslim. Was it? Jew. Oh, I guess it was Jew first, yeah. They're getting some flag. It was Pentecostal? Hell no. Oh, okay. Well, you're right. So the Roman Empire, Roman Catholicism would have been, yeah, I guess the first start of it. But either way. Oh, Roman mythology. Greek and Roman mythology, yeah. Yeah. Greek mythology, Roman mythology. Yeah, they had Roman Catholics. Yeah, they had the yeah, the Rome. They just had it a little more dialed in, probably. Yeah, yeah. Probably. I mean, we have all the figures in, I guess, Greek mythology. Rome is smaller. I absolutely love that. They're just like probably a family getting together, huddling around with this fire and just hanging out. So uh you can't see it in our shot now, but we picked this spot on the water here, and there is a very sweet family to the right of us who is having like a family get together, and they have heard me talking about gay sex in Minnesota, so this is great.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

What you did? I did not have gay sex.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Dude, I we had no clue that when we were setting up, thank God we didn't set up over there because we'd have been. Oh my god. Literally right in the line of fire. But um, but uh, thank God we set up over here. I mean, you know, we we try to avoid the families, but whatever. We try to avoid families that don't want to hear me say I had 180 beers last weekend. Yeah. That's probably the big thing, yeah. But dude, what a beautiful day. I'm loving the outdoor thing, man. Dude, new studio. Well, you got your little dog with you. Jersey tiny. Oh, that always makes it so much better, don't it? Did she haven't barked either? No, she's actually a good dog. When she's in, she's gotta be in like my lap or my arms. Yeah. Second I set her down, damn demon. So her in the pool. Oh, she likes it. No, she doesn't. It's so cold, she hates water. Oh, yeah, she's trying to get out. She's like a little cat. Yeah, but you know, vibes are high right now, dude. I think school's gonna let out a month or something. Dude, okay, I want to talk about this too. I'm glad you said that. It should be illegal. We should what's the show after World War II, the Geneva Convention. I'm talking it's this evil to keep kids indoors with car alarming. No, it's car alarms going off. I've never seen him move so quick. He's like, oh my god. How did that happen? I think it just happened. It's hilarious. No, it's car alarms just went off. But dude, they should it should be illegal keeping kids indoors for more than an hour a day when the sun's out like this. Like, dude, school is cruel. Well, you could be taught outside. You could do outside class. 100p, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. 100p. 100p, huh? Yeah, I'm trying to talk like the kids. I'm trying to relate. But dude, I mean, you could definitely be taught. Oh my God. Grown ass man, by the way. That's my favorite comment. Retard, by the way. Give me a break, dude. All right. Dude. The sun's out and I'm having beer for a while. There's got to be a better way to teach kids. Yeah, I agree with you. Honestly, if you well, here's the thing now. They use ADHD as like an excuse, I think. Every kid has ADHD. Hell, we all had it. I thought my niece, Remy, I thought she was bad. And not bad, but like I thought, oh God, she got ADHD. Like, you know, she's probably in school, I'm thinking she's probably, you know, like a troubled kid. Yeah. I go to her class and she's the best kid in that class. There's bad kids everywhere, bro. Kids 100%. They're just they're kids. They need to run. Yeah. It's like a dog. Like this dog, if I don't like let it take it on a walk or something, it sits inside all day. It's kind of bad, man. Like a kid, you need to run it almost. Yeah. Well, when you that's like when we were kids growing up, dude. All we did was, dude, for hours at a time, all we did was play outside and dig in the dirt and throw something as far as we could and set something on fire and beat the hell out of something. That's what we all we wanted to do as kids. And that sounds wild. Most of the kids are more like, Jesus Christ. That's what we did, dude. That's what dude. Let kids be bad outside. Yeah. Dude, that's part of the game. Hey, they're whispering over there. They were looking over here at whispering. Oh, they definitely heard me say yeah. They're probably thinking, what the hell are these dude? I could give. But we do, I well, I do do dumb shit. I do do dumb shit too. And you know what? I could give a fuck's less too, which is even better. Dude, what were the best days when you were a kid? Just tell me something you can just think of. First thing you think of. I ate an entire pack of Oreos one time when I was like 13. That was the best day you ever existed. I'm just thinking of like shit that I could shit I did then that if you do as an adult is like you're get you're being cast to hell. Oh I would eat like actually like 45 Oreos and then like probably half a gallon of whole milk. Didn't give a shit. That was one thing. And then I don't know. Kids have incredible guts. When I was 12, I uh do delete that audio. Go ahead. Proceed. Proceed. Color boat, don't look. I didn't see it. I'm going blue. Oh, it feels blue, but I'm gonna go red. It was red. Oh, I gotta finish my drink, Bo. All right, fuck. I finished four of them. What do we say that for by the end of this? Finishing all these beers. One thing about being a kid. I feel like half of adults now, actually surely all adults, think like, dude, there was shit we did as kids that like if you did it as an adult, you're getting arrested or going to jail. Dude, I'll never forget. We were at a uh we were at a bonfire at like a friend's house, and there was like 40 adults around, and I remember throwing one of those uh now I'm the F-word's coming out now. I threw one of those Black Panther's. Yeah, I finished a beer and I was all of a sudden said the F word, but I threw Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna drink another beer for this boat. I'm gonna go blue. We haven't seen a blue one yet. I'm gonna go red. It's great. Okay, we're all right I'm not finishing another beer. I threw a Black Panther firework into a bonfire with like 40 people sitting around it. Is that a big one? Oh, it blew up in front of everybody. Like, dude, it was probably attempt, it was an attempted murder charge. Oh my god. It was my family, and they were all like, oh my god, whatever. But it was your family, that'd be dirty. Yeah, nobody gave a shit, but it was like, holy shit, if you did that to a bunch of random people, that's an issue. I'm thinking about, dude, I I remember one time I threw rocks, we were throwing rocks at cars when they were crossing the street. Oh, yeah. We've done that. And I uh hit a cop with a huge rock. I mean, I had to double fist it as a kid, threw it. We were right by the road hiding under it, and we'll pop up. Yeah. And I double fisted the rock and hit the hit the cop with it. And he ended up coming to the house and didn't take me to jail. Can you imagine me doing it at a 29 years old? No, you're going to jail immediately. We would throw acorns like our we had oak trees in our yard and we would do handfuls of acorns right into the side of cars when they would come through. And we had good arms as kids. It's just funny. Yeah, yeah. You threw a rock into a cop car, though. That's a little different than throwing it into the water balloon and a cop car. I d I just had bad luck. Every time I would throw something at a car when it would cross, all my buddies would do it, and the one time I would do it, it'd be a cop car. I mean, was it pitch black at night? I'm wondering how you didn't know it was a cop. No, it'd be, you know, about right now. How did you not know it was a police officer? Well, you can't see it because it would right when it would come around the corner, you would throw it. Oh, so you would just listen and no one's coming and street? And then you would go back and hide. I see. We'd be in like the woods, like in the overhang over there, and I would just wait until it's like just passing, and bam, it didn't run off. Also, there I've got another terrible story. Dude, I just realized that this is a church small group. Oh shit. This is a church small group. All right, there is a church small group meeting to the right of us, so I'm gonna pull back the reins here and I offer this pavilion.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Oh no, oh no. The guy that pulled up on the boat is going to the small group and I offered him a beer.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Hey, I want to say one thing, man, and I'll say it quiet. Jesus hung out with sinners. Yeah, yeah. He did. He did, man, because those are the people you want to save. So we better we're gonna have to jump in there, man. I'm not jumping in this film, terrible. I've had ten, I've had ten beers.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Or convicted. And completely now, yeah. Oh God. I got gutteries over there.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Yeah, we should probably rage bait somewhere else, huh? No, we should keep going. It's part of the game, boy. Dude, do you remember being a kid and playing travel ball? And you I mean, uh, and you would you would be at the pool all day outside. You go to a water park or something, you still had the energy to play travel ball all night, too.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

I was gonna say, dude, that's totally what I think of when I think of being a kid. Summertime, playing ball, going to the pool.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Oh, dude. That was it. That was that was the routine in the summer. Dude, life's like an engine life, right? So like remember when you first get your new truck or a new car or whatever and it's running, like that's the damn you as a kid. That's true, yeah. Yeah, and then you put a couple miles on that thing, all of a sudden, all of a sudden you gotta take a little more couple. We got another boat coming through. If I'm gonna have to finish a whole course banquet again in front of this small group, I'm in trouble. They're gonna have to pray for me. Hey, one hey, one thing I'll say is, man, I'll say this and I mean it. Lord's always watching, so I mean, you can't be ashamed to do something. I'm not ashamed. Yeah. I saw the color of the boat. I saw the color of the boat.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

They booked the pavilion. Oh, did they really?

SPEAKER_01 37:22

You booked these pavilions? Oh, good thing we just set up out here. That's good. The bad dog podcast for a reason, right? We're gonna have to get out of here, bro. Oh my god. Lindsay's gonna come back from her walk and she's gonna be like, oh, Jesus, hunter, what have you done? Let's give it up. All right, well, boys, we are actual bad dogs tonight because we have infiltrated the small group. God.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Dude, you can't make this shit up.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

We're gonna finish these beers and go eat rancho, boys. Oh my god. Woof woof. Woof woof, I guess. I'm damn whispering on my own podcast. I might jump in the water.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Yeah, now you get in. Now you get in. 100 bucks wouldn't do it, but a little conviction from the Lord of the world.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Yeah, 100 bucks, but yeah, I'm getting red in the face right now. I'm about to jump in this damn river.

unknown 38:14

Bro.