BAD DOG PODCAST w/ Austin Bohannon
Two buddies. One bad dog. Zero filters.
BAD DOG PODCAST — the show where country music’s own Austin Bohannon and his lifelong friend Hunter Kiel, serve up hilarious hot takes, wild stories, and unfiltered reactions to everything from sports and music to life on the road and the dumbest stuff in the news.
It’s like your group chat with the boys... except way louder, funnier, and always ready to go off the rails.
BAD DOG PODCAST w/ Austin Bohannon
Hunter Kiel: Chuck E. Cheese Is Training Kids for Casinos | BAD DOG w/ Austin Bohannon #1
Remember when placing a $5 bet on a game was just harmless fun? When getting your first cell phone felt like holding the future in your hands? This raw, unfiltered conversation dives into the surprising connections between sports gambling addiction and our relationship with rapidly evolving technology.
We share personal stories that reveal how easily recreational betting spirals into something more sinister – from the psychology of increasing wager amounts to the moment you realize gambling is affecting your relationships. "It's like a drug," we observe, noting how the dopamine rush of winning creates an unsustainable cycle that leaves many chasing their next fix at any cost.
The discussion takes a fascinating turn as we explore how childhood experiences with technology may have primed an entire generation for addictive behaviors. From the Nokia phones with Snake to the seemingly innocent games at Chuck E. Cheese, we unpack how these early exposures to reward-based systems might function as training grounds for future gamblers. "You're training these kids to be addicted to slots," one host suggests, drawing parallels between casino design and children's entertainment centers.
Growing up during the technological revolution of the 2000s gave us front-row seats to an unprecedented era of innovation. We reminisce about Razor phones accidentally washed in laundry, the social status of owning a Sidekick, and the thrill of discovering the internet on iPod Touches. These shared experiences highlight how quickly we adapt to and become dependent on new technologies – sometimes without recognizing the psychological hooks embedded within them.
Whether you're nostalgic for simpler times, concerned about technology's grip on society, or simply enjoy authentic conversations that wander through life's complexities, this episode offers thoughtful perspectives on how we navigate a world increasingly designed to capture our attention and resources. What starts as entertainment can transform into dependency – whether it's sports betting or the latest digital innovation – and understanding these patterns might be our best defense against them.
RUFF RUFF
You can pray, you can drink, you can wait on the rain. Either way, it's gonna burn. Can't remember what time ball that was. I think it was 2021. That sounds right. Yeah, it was after COVID. Yeah, we had all the crazy overtime stuff, yeah, and I think it went to two or three overtimes. Either way, I was at a wedding and I should. It was a Catholic wedding in Pensacola. This was an hour long. I should you, you. Why are they longer? That's a great question. Are we rolling, noah?
Speaker 1:I've been to a lot of Catholic weddings and they are A traditional Catholic wedding is typically an hour long and they have a bunch of different things that they do Lighting of the candles, and they'll each read. They'll have different members of the family up to read passages and whatever. But we were this catholic wedding in pensacola right during the iron bowl, and the groom was from hartsell, alabama, and the bride was from south alabama. Either way, everyone in the entire congregation of this wedding is an alabama or auburn fan and uh, no shit. The start of overtime happened when the bride was walking down the aisle Were people watching it.
Speaker 1:Oh, dude, for like 45 minutes we're like midway back, like midway down the pews and half the crowd is. You can see them looking down at their phones. Like half all the men have their heads down. Women are pissed. Hey, watch this.
HUNTER:There's a damn wedding going on. There's a damn ball game going on.
Speaker 1:And dude, I hey watch this. There's a damn ball game going on. And dude, um, I want to say something. I can't remember what happened in that game.
HUNTER:I know alabama won but I remember there's a bunch of crazy places.
Speaker 1:Yeah, back and forth and like every time something would happen, you could hear everyone audibly in the wedding in the chapel go yes, all the weddings they go oh yeah, everyone would be so pissed and I could see my buddy jackson. He was up there. He's the one getting married and, and I'm like dude, he's got to know that this is happening right now because he's looking out at everyone and half the crowd are looking down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did they score? Yeah, I do. I do. Damn it, I do, dude, I'm telling you what's the score of the ball game. That's how serious football is.
HUNTER:I mean, I was at a wedding this year, made or break.
Speaker 1:I can't remember who was getting married, but I just remember. I'm just sitting there watching the game. Rich was like put your phone up. I'm like I cannot this is a close game.
HUNTER:I think it's.
Speaker 1:Alabama-Texanium. I bet on this ball game.
HUNTER:I bet on this damn game.
Speaker 1:My livelihood is on this ball game we're going to have to walk home. If Alabama Dude I got into this terrible, terrible routine of every trip we'd go on to a sporting event. I would always place like the similar bet to how much the weekend costs on the game. Yes, I remember when you would do that In hopes that like dude if they cover everything's free Dude, I would say for sure, more times than not you would hit, oh, my God, and usually you would bet on the team no-transcript.
HUNTER:You'd win so much money and you'd be like I covered the whole weekend.
Speaker 1:I paid for everything. You'd be like you bet it. How much did you win? I'd be like $150. Didn't even buy my damn ticket, not even a one-way. I couldn't even fly business one way with what I wanted, we get so fired up, but that was when I first really started sports gambling. God what a rush it was. But I mean you just put a little bit of money on a game dude and it was just like it was too intense for me when I first started. You know, I'm like I can't lose this.
Speaker 1:And then, next thing, you know, you blink your eyes and you're just like you're putting way more on the ball game.
HUNTER:Yeah, dude, and there was a wake-up call. It's a fun thing. I don't even bet anymore, dude, after that stretch.
Speaker 1:I remember the next month after the Super Bowl I think it was March Madness. I was like I'm good At that point. I'm like I'm good at sports gambling and that's what everybody thinks. Who?
HUNTER:wins a little bit.
Speaker 1:It's a disease and it is a disease and you think you'll never lose again. And by God, dude that March Madness. I bet I shit you not opening round 32 games. I bet you all went two and 30. And then you come down to earth and you're like I can't keep this up, I'll never financially recover.
Speaker 1:There's no way to win I mean it's just, it's gotta be fun. I just I went from putting $5 on a ball game to putting you know way more than I should, and then it got to the point where, when I lost, it hurt, oh yeah, and that was when I was like dude, I got to quit.
HUNTER:That's when you got to be careful, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I always tell my friends it's like dude, once you start raising your wager amount up like once you go from $100 a game to $200 a game, to $500 a game then you can't come back down.
HUNTER:You Come back down Because, once you come back down, it's not enough, it's just like a drug.
Speaker 1:It is a drug. It doesn't burn the candle anymore. And you're going to get to that point where it just gets way too bad and then next thing you know, you got your house on it.
Speaker 1:It's a slippery slope. I had a group message with all my buddies. It was like a gambling group text we're all sending our picks in and my buddy would send in one and nine the first 10 days doing it, and I remember after that day I just sent him this skier. That was like it was a gif of the skier going down the slope, makes one turn, two turns, falls and it just starts snowballing down the hill. And that's what it is, dude, because you can't win over, I mean you you got to be able to do it for fun and be able to control yourself to the point where okay, this isn't gonna get out of hand, yeah it can't.
Speaker 1:that's that's when it gets bad for a lot of guys is they'll be out and about, they'll be mean to their girlfriends because they've lost in gambling. Gambling controls the way they act towards other people. That's when you know it's beep terrible. That's when you've got the disease. That's when you've got the bug and you know what's sad about it is, I bet you 75% of men.
HUNTER:It's a man thing. Something about gambling is so manly. Yeah, this stat could be wrong, but I would bet you three in every four guys. I don't know if it feels manly, yeah, I mean, I think so.
Speaker 1:I feel like, dude, there's just like and it's not just sports, it's like gambling on a pool game.
HUNTER:Oh it just makes me feel like my muscles are just so big. Yeah, I don't think it's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if it just gets my blood going and I just grip my teeth and then I lose all my money and I hate it. Well, I don't think it's manly. I think that everybody wants to be right.
HUNTER:Yeah, it's a manly thing to want to be right, to want to be right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not like. Oh, I picked the football game correctly. It's that you were just right about something. Is gambling like a toxic masculinity thing. Would that fall into their?
HUNTER:umbrella of toxic masculinity, sure, like gambling. Is that like?
Speaker 1:yes, I don't know, I think for some reason, it's just incredibly addicting it is yeah, I mean it's like dude, even like the old people at the casinos that just go in there and they ride the bus and they just hit a button.
Speaker 1:It's sad because chucky cheese I think chucky cheese if you're out there, chucky or cheese. You're training these kids to be addicted to slots because the games aren't even games anymore. No, you go in there, you put your token in I think they probably even give you a card now and you just hit a button and it'll be like you win, you lose, Hit a button. It's training you for slots. You go to all these other games we used to do as kids. They don't have a ball, pin, nothing, and you just go in there every single game, hit a button. You either win or you lose. You're saying there's a conspiracy that casinos are now backing Chuck E Cheese.
Speaker 1:And they're grooming these kids early on is what you're saying. What I'm saying is that, chuck, E Cheese is paid off by the casinos and the mafia.
HUNTER:And do these kids?
Speaker 1:I mean, they're just learning at a young age to play these slots and I'm telling you, you heard it here first folks same sounds, the same sounds and the same oh and then the same dopamine hit. You're a kid and you just like boom jackpot and you get a thousand tickets and you get to go buy a bunch of cotton candy and fun dip. Tell me you're not addicted at five years old. Absolutely, that is kind of ridiculous. I don't. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:It's got to be the casinos funny enough though, chucky cheese you got to get the kids if you want to change a generation, you got to get the kids, and that's what the casinos are doing with Chuck E Cheese and Dave Buster's. They got the one for the teens too. Yeah, but Dave Buster's, I think it's groomed to adults. Yeah, it really is, because I'm addicted to Dave Buster's and I would like going to say I'm addicted, I mean, do I wake up some days and I'm like I can't wait to bet on this ball game? I probably do that every now and then.
HUNTER:Would you call that addicted? I wouldn't call that addicted. I mean, I don't shake much.
Speaker 1:I don't get the shakes unless it's a tight ball game. I think you're not addicted if you can go a few days without even thinking about it, and that's what I truly like. I could go the rest of my life without thinking about it. I like to think that, like there's maybe it's just because there's no football on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but I don't think about gambling on Tuesdays and Wednesdays during football season. I don't like betting on Maction or nothing. My main thing's like NFL, like there's nothing better Like last year, hey, last year.
Speaker 1:Since we're talking about gambling, about gambling, let's go into when I had dude I, I had way more money than I showed on the jets winning the super bowl. Oh, my god, I know, dude. Oh, and you remember it. Like they were like me, I did the same thing. You talked me into it. If there's a bad bet, I'm gonna find it.
HUNTER:Yeah but we already took already on rogers. We already took rogers to win mvp next year? He's not even signed with a team.
Speaker 1:He's a free agent. We already took him to win the MVP next year. That was you, though I know you were the one that sent me this. That was the most degenerate thing ever sending me Aaron Rodgers MVP because you know what that's going to do in my brain, being a Rodgers guy. In the back of my head it goes oh what if he wins it? Oh what if he wins the MVP? And you didn'ters, I'm taking the Steelers to win the Super Bowl and I'm taking Rodgers. I've already got a Rodgers MVP.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like 200 to win what? 10 grand or something crazy. It's 50 to 1. So, yeah, 200 wins 10 grand. Yeah, you never know. Lock, count it down. That's the lock of the year.
HUNTER:I don't know dude.
Speaker 1:I would not bet that I think it's really tough. He's supposed to sign with the Steelers and I think he will. I think it's really tough for a Steelers quarterback to win an MVP, because their defense makes every game so sloppy anyways their quarterbacks don't have to do much. Yeah, like on McAfee when he's like dude, I'm just dealing with things. Get out of here, bro. We're all dealing with things. Everybody's dealing with shit and our livelihoods fucking revolve around you dealing with shit and our, our livelihoods fucking revolve around.
Speaker 1:Where are you gonna go, aaron? I'm just dealing with a lot right now. Oh, shut up, bro, where are you going? We all, uh, care a lot about I've got a conspiracy about aaron rogers that he's such an anti-vaxxer that he was willing to put his legacy on the line and go to the jets which are owned by the guy that's the johnson brother the johnson and johnson.
Speaker 1:So he's such an anti-vaxxer that he went to the organization that's owned by the guy that's the Johnson brother, the Johnson and Johnson. So he's such an anti-vaxxer that he went to the organization that's owned by a vaccine company and tanked the organization. I think that that's how much I think that he's an anti-vaxxer.
HUNTER:Now, could it just be that he's a little ass and his Achilles was hurt?
Speaker 1:I think he cares about his football career a little more. Yeah, dude, people don't give him enough credit because A we've seen how tough it is to come back from Achilles. B he was a two-time MVP or he's a four-time MVP overall, but he won two MVPs back-to-back before he toured the Achilles Like dude that's absurd.
HUNTER:He's a baller. Yeah, dude, he did that in his late 30s, big Rodgers guy yeah.
Speaker 1:Now I have to buy a new jersey. I had just got a Packers-Rogers jersey when he left there, and then I got the Jets one. Now I guess I'm going to have to get a Steelers one. Dude, I'm a big Steelers fan just because, well, I'm a Bengals fan. But I've always liked the Steelers because one of the first NFL games I'd ever went to was Packers-Steelers in Lambeau. This was like four or five years ago. Oh yeah, I remember you had big cheese on your head, yeah and uh, that was just such a football rivalry like steelers, packers, it was rod it was rogers versus roethlisberger.
HUNTER:It was such a good atmosphere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a 425 or a 325 afternoon game in green bay and there was like a haze over the stadium. We tailgated with the locals, dude it was. It was cool and that always. And watching the steelers walk out, I just remember them getting booed in Lambeau and I always liked the bad guys. I was like man, they're cool and I like Tomlin too. He seems like a good guy. Yeah, he is. Let's jump off to sports. Yeah, I'm over sports. We can get back to it. I'm over sports. The Pope's dead.
HUNTER:Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Isn. Any of that works. I thought that I mean dude. Up until we were talking earlier, I thought that the Pope was like part of the royal family. I thought I mean dude, that shows how out of the loop I am. I thought that the Pope was like part of this bloodline and they're like all brothers or something. I don't think they're all brothers.
HUNTER:Is that the?
Speaker 1:stupidest thing ever to think. I think they call it the conclave.
HUNTER:I think I was thinking of like the royal family.
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking that the Pope's like are having babies. Do they even have kids? Can they have sex? Can the Pope have sex? I think that he, I think. Francis did with kids, but I don't know if the didn't he. I don't know. I'm speaking out of turn because I really don't know, but I do know.
HUNTER:Is that true?
Speaker 1:or no? Is that a rumor? I think they can.
HUNTER:yeah, I don't know who I heard that from. I heard that from one of my buddies.
Speaker 1:I don't know. He had a kid, I don't know.
HUNTER:Obviously the stereotype. The money line on that might be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the stereotype of all the.
HUNTER:Catholic priests. I wouldn't Google that either.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not Googling that Pope with. I think they call them the conclave of cardinals, and the cardinals are, like the, not the congregation of the church, but they're a handful of priests.
HUNTER:Like elders.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like elders, they're like deacons of the church, basically.
HUNTER:Yeah, maybe they'll get a good one. I could be wrong, but I know I was reading the other day that they pick, I guess a few guys. They're already on it.
Speaker 1:Yes, typically the Pope. Surely they already thought about this. Well, no, it's happened for 800 years. Whenever a Pope dies, another one's elected within two to three weeks after the funeral. So it's coming oh, it's very soon, and what happens is they'll put up a couple of them and then they'll elect them. Okay, I've got a crazy take here, two-thirds have to. Aaron Rodgers to the Pope. Shit. Aaron Rodgers signs with the Bro. That would be like I don't think he's religious. I don't know. Dude, I need a beer.
HUNTER:For the right amount of money? I think he would. I've watched about every single electing a pope movie or show that they've had. Oh, so you know something about it. I mean, I'm not Catholic, I've just watched those shows. I mean it's pretty much like they have to have a majority voter. They have to get to a certain number there. Like to be able to.
Speaker 1:you know the only thing I know about Catholics is they can like cuss and repent. Right Like you can repent, we can all repent. Yeah, but they got to go talk to a guy, don't they? That's what they believe, yeah, yeah, they got to go. There's like a guy for that in town that they got to go tell. Imagine being that guy. I got a guy.
Speaker 1:Just, and it's like he's just sitting there talking to his wife you won't believe it. Suzy came in and she's screwing tommy and I can't tell anybody, dude being the guy that just has to know all the local drama in that little hut. It's like they don't realize. I can see right through that little window and see who they are. Dude, I wonder how, um, I wonder the pressure of that, because they're they're humans too, so you know they want to tell when they hear some, some spicy shit.
Speaker 1:God, when I hear something I just want. I almost just got to call somebody and get it out. I love telling people bad news. Oh, I do too. Dude, remember the other night when that horrible weather was coming through and I was telling everyone there was a tornado on the ground.
HUNTER:It's about to touch down.
Speaker 1:It's about to touch down. There's. What is that in that human nature? You just like to. It's not just bad news, it's gossip too.
HUNTER:You just want to be the one that knows it's just the tongue. It's like the nature of the tongue.
Speaker 1:You just got to watch it because, dude, I want to spill the beans. If I had a thing full of beans, I just want to. I don't know why. I mean I'm pretty good at keeping a secret, like anybody that's ever told me a secret might say this I'll keep it, unless I get too much drink in me. Then I might tell it but I'm pretty good at keeping a secret. I'd say I'm really good too, I think the only I mean I'm really good at telling a secret, or sorry, keeping a secret, unless I'm telling, you told on yourself, unless I'm telling like someone super close to me yeah, you got your bros, you can call.
Speaker 1:Yeah like if I heard a rumor or something that we found to be true. I know I could tell you because I know you wouldn't run out and be like Hunter told me this.
HUNTER:No, and like there's a few people in my life that I can tell things to.
Speaker 1:There's also things that you can tell and you can't tell. There's a fine line. Like when you hear something and you're like, oh, I could probably like this. One to the grave would be. Oh yeah, absolutely Ain't. No way I can tell that. Which leads me to the next thing with the take it to the grave, would you want to fake your own death? I think about this all the time. I think you got to be in like a public position to want to here's. You want to know why. I mean it's your chance.
HUNTER:Ask me why.
Speaker 1:Why would you? That's what I was baiting you to do, because, dude, think about like all the good things, like that people say, once you die, like you could be like the worst person ever, and then when you die, they like put in the obituary.
Speaker 1:He was a great man. He loved his family, never even saw his kid and, they'll say, loved his daughter, was there for everybody, was a great man in the community. I want to hear those things Like why you got to be dead, and like floating around to see all these things and like, damn, it's like I didn't know. They felt like that, yeah. So what I would want to do is I would fake my own death and I would just kind of stay in the shadows and I would just see I don't want to see people hurt.
Speaker 1:That would suck, I would almost't want to do it for a long time. That's what I'm saying. I'm thinking like a Jesus time period, like three days. Jesus, I'm thinking three days, three days, and then everybody gets up. As soon as everybody gets together and they tell all the good things about me, then I'll just pop in and be like I'm actually here, I just wanted to make sure. Aren't y'all love so much and miss so much is actually not dead, or I just pop out of the coffin.
HUNTER:There's a Curb your Enthusiasm episode where the dude has a funeral, a living funeral, so he can see what people would say about him.
Speaker 1:He would actually come to the funeral. I need to watch that dude. That's exactly what I want to do, yeah, but then everyone's going to think you're a terrible person for doing that. I know the rest of your life. Now you're like, oh, that guy, I'll have to do it again. If you died again they'd be like this motherfucker.
HUNTER:It's like the boy who cried wolf. I bet I have an open casket.
Speaker 1:They're poking me. I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know that he's dead. Let me make sure, Dude, I don't know. It's like it might be the best thing for me being a musician All my streams and shit would pop off. It's like that girl that disappeared. You know I'll be like that's horrible to think about Was she a musician.
HUNTER:No, no, no, she was a vlogger.
Speaker 1:Oh, and her shit popped off. Rest in peace. Yeah, her boyfriend killed her out in the out west and I remember of her vlog before he murdered her, and her video on YouTube got millions and millions of views after she passed because that was her.
HUNTER:Thing. So that's kind of what I'm getting at If you pass then, and then my shit blows up and then I come back and I can collect that money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're back, Because I'm back, what's up everybody? I'm back. I was just messing with y'all. I was just playing, Wasn't that funny? Everybody's boo-hoo crying. I'm just like, wasn't that so funny? Ain't I so silly?
HUNTER:Oh my God dude, I was just thinking about that.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I can see you doing it. Of anybody, I would do it, but I would have to let some people know Like I couldn't stand to see some people hurt. But then it'd. Parents are like giggling at my funeral. Yeah, there ain't no way. Dude Ginger couldn't hold it in, no, and she's over there just telling my mom will tell some, she'll tell, she would tell everybody. I think he's actually not dead, he's just playing a game with everybody. I could see her just at the funeral, just people crying. Hey, quit crying. He's actually not dead, he's actually alive. He's so funny. Look, you see him. I got to peep my head back. God, I'm on stomp. I had a WWE entrance plan.
HUNTER:Undertaker , I was going to come in.
Speaker 1:Ride in on a Harley. Oh my Dude, that is so funny. I'm out on the faking the death thing, Unless you wanted to like completely start over yeah, like Machiavellian, like no, I don't want to. I don't want like a fresh start. I want to keep. I love the life that I've got. Oh yeah, dude, I don't want to leave it. That's why I would fake it. You know what I mean? Yeah, but it would ruin the life you have. No one would think the same. Has anybody ever tried this?
Speaker 1:no, they probably tried it on, but yeah, everyone thought that katie perry was gonna fake her death. Uh, going to space a week or two ago, oh, that's crazy. The whole time she was looking at the camera, oh, she didn't even look outside, yeah she didn't even look outside and see outer space.
Speaker 1:She's like, look, I'm in outer space and there's a it's on me, the camera's on me like turn around and like acknowledge that outer space is there. But this is coming from a guy that you know. I'd say these days it's a little less, but this is coming from a guy. At one point that was probably over the 50 percent, halfway through the cup, I'd say I was about 51 percent of flat earther. Yeah, you need to go on that. That you know there's that, I mean I and that was just like to get me from 49 to 51 and over the over the edge was just pure, just wanting it to be flat. You know, yeah, it's not flat. And then it got to a point where I just had to quit looking up stuff because I was just making myself look like an idiot.
Speaker 1:We saw the study that the guy is doing. He's bringing all the flat earthers down to Antarctica to show them. I guess I don't know the science behind it, but there's a billionaire out there that's bringing a bunch of flat earthers. I think the biggest social media influencers that are flat earthers. He's bringing them to Antarctica and I guess down there you can see, a certain way, the sun rises. Actually, I guess you see the sun the whole time, but there's a way that you can prove that the earth isn't flat in Antarctica when you're on the South Pole. I hadn't seen that.
HUNTER:You need to look it up.
Speaker 1:I don't want to sit here and talk, yeah, yeah he's already brought him down there and half of them, or three quarters of them, are like oh shit, it's not flat. I would go down there. See, that's how in denial I was. I'd go down there and be like that don't mean shit yeah, it's flat stupid.
HUNTER:Yeah, that documentary where they have a bunch of the influencers on there and stuff and like they do all the science and everything and pretty much like there's no way that they can't deny it. But then they kind of get to the point where it's like really, I just love this community and I can't.
Speaker 1:That would be me, you, community, oh, that's me just really dude. Hey, what you're saying is true, but, dude, don't run this. For me, life is great being a flat earther. I love these guys. I love these guys. How in the hell could I quit on my team? That makes me a quitter. Oh yeah, there's nothing wrong with being wrong, but I don't like to be dude. People swear that there's some secret society in antarctica that, oh, dude, I've been down every single rabbit hole like there's yeah, I've been down the rabbit hole that they believe that there's more land beyond Antarctica. So like we live in this small encapsulated place and they're saying that there's just like this is an ice wall and there's like tons of other countries over here, like the map extends, like the map extends. It's like Skyrim out there, like there's just it's just forever ending and there's people that believe that. And out there, like there's just it's just forever ending and there's people that believe that. And I will say there's a point in time where I'm like it's interesting. Yeah, it is, it's fun.
HUNTER:I mean how?
Speaker 1:can you say it's not till you see it, though? That's my thing with it all Every single day. When I walk out on this earth, it's other than hills and mountains From my point of view. Behind my lenses is flat. Argue me that Astronomy, I mean. We've sent so many things into orbit. Now. Have you been into orbit, Dude? My dad has been.
HUNTER:It's such a low IQ argument my entire life to me, then he's been working for NASA and oh damn stuff up in space and be like what have you been doing for 10 hours a? Day he's just been at the bar hanging with the boys and be like what have you been doing for an hour a day?
Speaker 1:He's just been at the bar hanging with the boys. All the NASA scientists, just really. They just go in there and they clock in. They just got a pub in there and they sports, gamble and shoot pool. What a job. Sign me up, nasa, please hire me. I want to gamble with the boys and act like I'm a scientist. My cousin's a rocket scientist too. One thing that he will say is he didn't work for NASA.
Speaker 1:So he can't say is like he's like I mean, there could be a chance we didn't go to the moon.
HUNTER:I think that they definitely did. I think the CIA definitely had a plan where, if it blew up and it didn't work, to where they would still be like yo, we got the footage of like we did it.
Speaker 1:It was an arms race. I mean, dude, they there's definitely some propaganda in there yeah, oh yeah, I mean, they might have went.
Speaker 1:they may not have recorded them going, but they might have went all the nasa computers back then all the nasa computers combined in one comes to like one in one thousandth of what a phone can do. Yeah, oh yeah. And my favorite thing is which y'all this could probably be debunked is when richard nixon's talking on a landline. Like they ran a string all the way up there. Like the rocket just takes off and it's just got like a coil of string. Just pull it. What did it get up to the moon? They just pulled it back. I don't think that's how the landline works, is it? That guy has to go through a line landline. It doesn't go to a satellite. This is above my pay grade here.
HUNTER:This is above my pay grade too. I'm gonna look my pay grade too.
Speaker 1:I'm going to look like an idiot talking about this.
Speaker 2:It probably just goes to the same thing like a serious radio transmitter.
Speaker 1:We were born into the home phone. But the detached home phone Remember. Yeah, it seems like when we were kids, though didn't it mainly have the string one, but I guess it was the detached. Yeah, I was born in 96. You had the attached landline, but then after you remember when you'd be calling, like your girlfriend in like fifth grade, oh yeah, I had an older brother, god Wesley.
Speaker 1:I'd be in there just like talking like oh yeah, you got McDonald's, how many chicken nuggets did you get? Just talking to my little girlfriend about whatever kids talk about. I got a toy, I got a Happy Meal, I'll come out there. What's the but? Oh shit, what'd you ask her about? Chicken nuggets? Loser, gay, gay. He'd be upstairs listening. You could hear him like, you could hear like, yeah, and then I'd always be superstitious or I'd be scared and I like I, or I'd be scared and I like wouldn't talk about things with her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those were the days, though. You remember that rush when you'd have to make that phone call my God, talking about sports gambling, giving you a rush when you was like in fifth grade and you had to make that phone call and talk to the dad. Oh, I agree. And the dad be like hello, who is this? She be I'm calling to talk to. May I speak? Please? Speak with your daughter please. I want to talk to her about chicken nuggets. God, that was a crazy rush. And then she gets on there and you don't even know what to say, because you spent all day with her in class. Yeah, and you didn't even talk to her then because you were scared of her in person. That was me. Pass him in the hall and be like Side hug.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry, pass him in the hall be like hey, side hug. Yeah, oh, sorry, I didn't see you. Clearly saw you. Yeah, side hug. Oh my god, just barely stick it out and just yank it back.
HUNTER:God, what a rush, huh when did you get your first cell phone?
Speaker 1:fourth grade, actually fourth grade, yeah damn, no way. Well, that variety, yeah that is early.
Speaker 1:I got mine in like the eighth grade verizon was doing a thing where if you bought a new phone, so so my mom bought a new phone they give you two lines and a phone for free. Oh, okay. So we had these like bottom of the barrel flip phones, and I'm pretty sure we were limited on like I mean, there was only so many contacts I could even have back then because none of the kids had phones no, and so a cell phone Probably just your family Really just family, yeah.
HUNTER:And so a cell phone. So I mean your family's really just family, yeah. And then parents, yeah.
Speaker 1:Some of the kids got cell phones and I would, you know, we would text back and forth, probably gibberish. You know cause you had to hit the buttons, so like when you had to type, you had to like. If you want to say hey, you had to like four, three times, yeah, yeah.
HUNTER:What is T9 word? T9 word, I think, was like one of the languages of the typing like that.
Speaker 1:It's like an hour to type a sentence.
HUNTER:Oh, yeah, yeah, and then you mess we were good at it though, dude yeah you look back and you messed up like the first word.
Speaker 1:You couldn't like go back, you had to delete the whole thing. Yeah, oh yeah, dude, I'll never forget my first cell phone was a razor. Remember the razors?
HUNTER:Oh yeah, those were pimping.
Speaker 1:But you had to have AT&T because Verizon didn't have them, which was bullshit. My mom and dad had gotten me a razor, and I'm talking first week. I got it. I left it in my pocket, put it in the laundry, got washed, ruined it and my mom oh my God, my mom was like you're not getting another phone that's it, Dude. I was like you're not getting another phone, that's it, dude. I went like four weeks without a phone and I thought my life was over because my girlfriend.
HUNTER:You couldn't even do that these days.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I went four weeks without one and all my friends had it at that point and I remember my mom was like you're going to pay for that, or I'm going to give you a Nokia. Do you rock the Nokia? Rock the Nokia for Most people when they were freshmen in high school. Now you have the new iPhone or you have whatever.
HUNTER:I was using a Nokia.
Speaker 1:The Nokia was like remember how little those Nokias were. I couldn't even fit it in my hands. Dude and God forbid you text on it bro.
HUNTER:That's the one that didn't flip. No, it didn't flip, and all it had was snake on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the screen was the size of like a charger block now, like that little square. I don't even know how we used those dude. The coolest one was the.
HUNTER:Bro, people used to send you pictures to those phones. Oh, what is that? What is that? Is that an alligator?
Speaker 1:No, that's me getting ready this morning. That's my outfit. I'm coming over. Oh, is that an alligator eating a chicken? You remember the? What are those phones? The cool ones? Oh, the sidekick.
HUNTER:Oh God, the sidekick that would go up and sideways.
Speaker 1:Somebody had one of those man, I had one, did you. You was a cool kid man.
HUNTER:I remember the selling point was like you can get on the internet, you can't get on the internet.
Speaker 1:You can get on the internet and also you're going to get all the chicks, bro. Yeah, I mean, if you got the sidekick brother, Let me touch it. Okay, it's crazy. It would do like a 360 backflip coming up it was like sorcery. Do you remember I guess it was probably seventh or eighth grade for us when the iPod Nano and the iPod Touch came out.
HUNTER:I remember that.
Speaker 1:Because the iPod Touch was right before the original iPhone. I think I think we were in the seventh or eighth grade when that happened. I can't remember why, but I never had one. I can't remember why, but I never had one. I didn't either, but I remember someone at school had one, and that was the first time that you could like. I don't know if Snapchat was out just yet, but it was close. Are you talking about the iPod Touch?
HUNTER:Oh, I did have one of those.
Speaker 1:It wasn't the original iPhone yet, but it was iPod Touch and I can't remember. I don't think we did Snapchat on there, but I remember you could take pictures on it. I remember we were in like eighth grade math and someone had a tit pic. There was some girl in there on this iPod touch, bro, and there's eight boys at the signing table and all of us are like looking over at this little iPod touch.
Speaker 1:I'm shitting you. Not. Every one of us are just like eyes this big, looking at it and looking back, thinking about how far iPhones have come. Dude, dude. That ipod touch was probably the size of like a little nokia. It was probably two or three inches by four inches. Like dude, there's no way you could really see anything and the quality was terrible. Every like teenage boys first search, yeah, naked boobs.
Speaker 1:Naked boobs that's ever 100, that is don't give a 12-year-old Google, first thing they're searching is naked boobs, boobs, naked boobs. They'll search boobs first. It won't work for them. Then they'll search naked boobs, oh yeah, then they'll have a parental block or something. Hopefully, god, dude, those were the days, man, we didn't even realize we were living back then. No days, man, we didn't even realize we were living back then. No, every single thing was new. It was, you know, that's the thing about getting older. It feels like I mean, just like, if you don't have, how much new stuff can you do? And it's like, once you do something a few times, it gets old and you don't get that same hit. You know like. But when you were a kid, dude, everything was new.
Speaker 1:We grew up in a family Going to the grocery store. I remember going to Walmart was like a big deal. Yeah, I used to love it. I would just grab all the toys and my mom wouldn't buy none. I'd cry, dude.
Speaker 1:I remember that dude, think about it like this, though we grew up in such a. We grew up in a fantastic time, like there's probably not a better time to grow up in the history of the world, because every year, something brand new in technology would come out and we would get to be the first ones to use it as like a 12 or 13 year old.
HUNTER:Think about our parents, think about 80s or 90s, and now the things that came out then, are using us.
Speaker 1:I feel like yeah, yeah, but it's just like if you grew up in the 70s, 80s or 90s which I guess I'm speaking for my parents and other people, we didn't experience it but like how far technology come in those 30 years versus what it did in the 10 years that we were growing up.
HUNTER:It's crazy. I think that like 2012, and I'm sure it's been more now, but since ai and everything but 2012 was the first year that like there had been more like tech developments in that one year than at all of history all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, good, and we grew up I mean, 2012 is the year they said it all ended. Yeah, yeah, that that's right, I was 16.
HUNTER:I was a 16-year-old, everything's felt so damn weird since 2012.
Speaker 1:I don't know, 2016 was a good year, but other than that, everything's been weird. I don't know. Dude, Dude, I feel like every year since 2018 has been great.
HUNTER:I've loved. Every year it's just like weird.
Speaker 1:It's like everything's like the WWE now. Yeah, like it's almost like everything's just written, it's all. Yeah, like it's like the world's a stage now. It's like if you go back and watch Trump on WWE, he's just like the king of, like you know, the selling and the acting, the show, yeah, and that's it's like he's so good. I mean, granted, he may not be playing a character, but if he was right now my God he's doing good.
Speaker 1:He's the best actor in the world, Dude. He's so good he can sell anything, he can sell it. He can stir the pot he can. If you think about, I guess, the conspiracy theory of the deep state right, it's like the deep state controls everything and they're just pulling the strings of every puppet. There's really no left and right. No, therefore they're both bought and paid for by the same people. Yeah, the deep state loves, I would think.
HUNTER:They love division.
Speaker 1:They love it that we're all divided. Half the country hates each other, so you think that they care that Trump's in right now.
HUNTER:They love it no they love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, they want him in, and dude, they want him in, and dude. How funny would it be, though, if somehow we could figure out if a glimpse into the deep state would just be let loose, and then the country could see like, oh fuck, this is all one big theater play that we're all watching unfold in our federal government. It would be hilarious. Then everyone maybe would come together. I don't know. Yeah, they're never going to let it happen.
HUNTER:And I think that people don't want or if it did happen, people wouldn't believe it. People wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're so comfortable where they're at, they'd be in denial. And it's like I mean, back in the 1800s and the early 1900s, people would risk their life for something they believed in. But, like dude, now we've got air conditioning, we've got fast food, we've got all these things that are so convenient. It's like why would nobody's just like? I will die for this cause they're like oh hell, no, I got it good at the house. I'm chilling. I got a Netflix show I'm watching. You know that new season just dropped. Like I got work tomorrow. Yeah, I got bills.
HUNTER:I don't think I'm just going to go. You know, die for.
Speaker 1:Definitely not today. Yeah, life's too convenient and easy right.
HUNTER:We still got some dogs out there. We still got some dogs here in Alabama. I mean, we got some Navy SEALs and stuff. Oh yeah, One percent, we got one percenters.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, not to take the military. Those guys would die for us any day 99% of them. Thank God for them, because we wouldn't yeah, I don't know how. If they sent us to war, we'd be like, oh fuck, I'd ship my beer on tap. Do they have an Iraq? They?
HUNTER:ain't got Modelo over there. I'll tell you that yeah.
Speaker 1:Where's the local pub? Remember, we were at a wedding in Florida and we met a.
HUNTER:Navy SEAL no, no, no, he's a Green Beret, green Beret.
Speaker 1:Yeah, badass motherfucker dude. Green Beret yeah, badass motherfucker dude. And he was telling us that he we were asking him his political views. We were all drinking just hanging out. He just pretty much said he doesn't have any, but he said a lot of them in the military don't have political views because you're going to take orders no matter what.
Speaker 1:And now whether my thought was like I get that though I can see that and my thought was like well, I guess, whether you like truly believe in like the people calling the shots or not, that would kind of be. My only thing is like that would conflict with what, how you perform and everything. So I get, I get what he was saying and, dude, he was making great points about how, like, you know what you're signing up for, so no matter what for the country?
HUNTER:whoever the country?
Speaker 1:whoever the country elects, and if they say to do it, you do it willingly, no matter what. I thought that was bad. We were baiting him too, we were trying to get him to be like just tell us that you're just so super conservative. Yeah, dude, he was awesome, though it was great. It was good to hear his perspective from a military side of just yeah, put it in perspective where you're like damn dude, I get that. There's no room for opinion in that situation.
HUNTER:No, because our situation like no, because our opinions don't matter at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, damn dude, respect bro. Damn right dude. That was crazy, what a badass it was a good. Probably could have just like throat, punch, kicked and just killed all of us in like 10 seconds. I bet I don't know he'd be a mean son of a bitch what is the thing that they're? Doing on the internet right now. It's like a hundred, a hundred men versus one gorilla. Have you seen that? Who would you take? A hundred men or?
HUNTER:a hundred people. You can't talk about the, the two guys that do the biggest of the big thing.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I just seen a couple people making videos. It was a hundred people. So it had to be fair that we said we still live in a little bit of a dei time. So let's say, 50 women, 50 men can't just be men. I feel like that evens the playing field 100 people versus one gorilla. What are you doing? I'm taking the people 100, but if you said, if you said, if you said 50, I'm taking the gorilla, really, bro, a silverback they are, and the big one it's a damn king, king dude. Those guys. It's king, it's king dong dude.
Speaker 1:Those, those gorillas are they call them big d dude. And even you know what's even crazier is. I think a grizzly bear would tear that gorilla to shreds, and then bears are crazy thousand pounds.
HUNTER:I saw some guys talking about they do like a whole show based on like animals. Like you know, I know we've all had to like the fucked up conversations of yeah well, what about an orca versus a whatever?
Speaker 1:Love it.
HUNTER:But they were talking about how many silverback gorillas it would take to take down a polar bear if you were in a polar bear's environment.
Speaker 1:Oh.
HUNTER:And I was like well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's a good question, because the monkeys, the gorillas are in a hot environment.
HUNTER:They'd be cold. Remember we were in Alaska.
Speaker 1:And I think Bert it was Joseph's host dad was telling us if it's a brown bear, lay down and play dead. Yeah, play dead If it's a black bear fight back.
Speaker 1:Hey, bear or no, fight back, but also you can scare them off right by being loud yeah but he was saying it was just like a common rule of thumb with bears and it was like brown bear, play dead. Black bear, fight back polar bear. See you, buddy, you're dead, you're dead. Polar bears are the meanest things in the world and they're so hungry all the time.
HUNTER:They look so damn cute on a Coca-Cola though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, at what point did they make Coca-Cola? And they're like a polar bear would be great for this. I think I'm taking a polar bear versus two gorillas. Three gorillas, I think. Have it? Numbers matter? Well, three's a party, three's a party. I think three gorillas would take down a polar bear, but I think 2v1, I think the polar bear could take them All. Right, here we go. Since we're playing this, what about NFL mascots? If they were the actual thing and they played each other, like you had the dolphins versus the bears, or you had like the eagles versus the vikings? I mean, the bears are probably pretty good. You had the texans. Uh, did the texans have guns? I think they did this on another podcast yeah, no, I saw chrysalia do this yeah, I just got all the different ones.
Speaker 1:What the hell's a 49er? I mean, the chargers are a lightning strike. Oh my god, those things would ruin everybody. Yeah, it's true, I didn't think about that. Um, yeah, that's a tough combo. Cowboys and texans is like just the alamo. Again, that's been done.
HUNTER:We've seen the movie on that.
Speaker 1:I mean low key tennessee's probably wrecking everybody the titans, the gods, oh, you know, the greek gods, the gods, I mean yeah, yeah what's the worst one? You mean like the seah, the fathers of the gods. I mean yeah, yeah. What's the worst one? You mean like the biggest force, the worst one, the worst one? Probably the dolphins, the browns. What are the? The browns are dogs, right? I don't know, aren't they dogs?
HUNTER:I thought it was just a shit or something. No, you got a, you got a, you got a browser on that buddy, I thought it was just like a shit.
Speaker 1:I think the Cleveland Browns are like. Giants would be tough. Bengals would be tough Dolphins probably the smartest of all the things out there yeah, but if we're fighting on land, they're done. Yeah, but if we're fighting in the ocean, yeah, that's a different ballgame. I don't know what the Browns are. I guess it's just a. I think it's a dog. You can't let no dog go out and fight there. A dog's too sweet. Hold on. Noah's got the answer for us. What is it?
HUNTER:A Cleveland Brown is a character on Family Guy. Oh Cleveland, that is so funny. It's named after their first head coach, Paul Brown.
Speaker 1:Really. So we got Paul Brown out there. He's probably one of the weaker links. I'd take a dog over him, his old ass. Yeah, chris D'Elia does a funny skit on that. I remember seeing him. You learn something new every day. Huh, I read a quote the other day. You want me to read it to you? Yeah, I want to cheers to it. All right, read it to you. Yeah, I want to cheers to it. All right, drinking beer may not add years to your life, but it'll add life to your years. Damn right, it will. Isn't that? Isn't that so moving? Yeah, I saw that. I'm like you know what? I'm gonna crack a cold one, dude. Yeah, dude, what life are you living if you're?
HUNTER:not having fun, oh god dude.
Speaker 1:I thought that was a great quote. That is a fantastic. There's such thing as too many, but yeah, I mean it's, mean it's. I mean you have to have a. There's a line, yeah. And then you mix it with football or golf. A hot summer day on a boat yeah, those are good reasons A sunset, a sunrise. If it's cold outside, it's hot. You got a lot of shit going on. You ain't got nothing going on. A cold beer man, yeah, pairs with everything.
HUNTER:Yeah, when's a bad time to drink a beer.
Speaker 1:Ah, dude, When's a bad time to have a beer? Monday morning, I don't know. But to say that I mean there's been some Mondays where we play golf and I've drank beer. Monday morning is a bad time to have a beer, dude. I mean like if you're I mean Sunday morning is not a great time, but I mean if you Sunday.
HUNTER:Sunday.
Speaker 1:Sunday after 12 is good. Yeah, I don't like drinking after church yeah, well, alabama has a law where you can't sell alcohol before 12 o'clock on Sunday. I think that's a great law because, honestly, other than like when you're going on the boat on Sunday, yeah, but you can buy it on Saturday, yeah, I don't know, I'm trying to think of another bad time to drink a beer, I would say, before school Late Sunday night and Monday morning In an adult's life, in an adult's life If you work a nine to five, you have a normal job Before work.
Speaker 1:Before work's tough, After work that shit is, yeah, dude, moderation. But that's the thing, bro. It's hard to have moderation when it's a good time. Do we have moderation on football Saturdays?
Speaker 1:Kids' birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. Is that a weird time. They don't sell alcohol at Chuck E Cheese. They definitely have beer at Chuck E Cheese. They have beer at Chuck E Cheese. I heard that Really. Yeah, dude, it's grooming you for a casino. Hey, this conversations. They got beer at the game at the casino. Let me tell you the story. I was at, uh, you know, steve garrett, our high school baseball coach. I was talking to him uh, this is probably a month or two ago, and we were talking about he had his daughter's birthday party at chucky cheese and I was like dude, I was like, invite me. I love playing the chucky cheese games. He goes. Well, you can't go without kids.
HUNTER:I was like, oh, you're right that would be so weird if you're just hanging out at Chuck E Cheese.
Speaker 1:No, you cannot just show up at a Chuck E Cheese without having children with you, well, I will say that that is a phenomenal rule. It's a great rule.
HUNTER:That is a great rule for Chuck E Cheese, but he said that and I just laughed.
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, that makes perfect sense. That would be weird if you knew that. Like, if you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, man, they, I can't believe they serve alcohol at Chuck E Cheese. Is that a real thing?
HUNTER:They do. I've heard that we used to do mixers there in college, so it's like I knew that you had to have kids with you. Unless you rent the whole place out, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. Were y'all playing the games? Oh yeah.
HUNTER:That's kind of fun. Yeah, you'd have to rent that was before.
Speaker 1:They were just a button. You'd have to get the, the wheel would spin and you'd try to stop it right on the number of tickets.
HUNTER:Screw that game, dude.
Speaker 1:That game was fun, dude. Even when you would think you would have it, it'd be off by one. Yeah, it'd take over. You remember the pirate ship game that had an actual pirate ship steering wheel. No God, I felt like I was Jack Sparrow. Dude, the ship be leaning this way. You'd have to wheel it that way, dude. Or the machine that you could shake and the coins. But there was like a thing on it where you couldn't shake it. It would alarm, but like you could always get away with a little bit. So you could just like like I would just like go up there and I would just throw a shoulder into it and just act like I didn't mean to do it. Coins going up Hell, yeah, go to the other one over there, throw a. I would shoulder into it. If it went off, I'd just take off walking. Yeah, you're a big kid, you could do it. I believe it. Or if you'd find a machine that's just like leaking tickets, you could just like slowly pull them out as long as they wouldn't break. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it was just like they were, like if something was loose and you just slowly would keep going, just be looking around, touch and feel yeah, dude, actually, Um, we cleaned out my parents' storage unit, uh, two days ago, and I have found my old Game Boy. Did you have a Game Boy? I did, I had all the, all the different ones. I think, dude, I found a bag of all my DS. No, no, no, no, no.
HUNTER:I had the Game Boy SP, sp.
Speaker 1:Game Boy color. I found both of them. I found my DS too. They were all in a bag and a PSP. They were all in a bag and a PSP. Remember PSP? Oh yeah, that was PlayStation, portable little thing.
HUNTER:Oh, dude, it's in my truck.
Speaker 1:I'll show it to you. I brought the PSP just to show you, but I found a bag of my old Pokemon games, like the original Game Boy Color Pokemon games. Dude, those brand new, like if they were still in the case before, if you just bought them 25 years ago and never opened them sell for hundreds of dollars now. That's crazy. They're collectibles. Yeah, same with that's what we need to do these days is like just buy things and not open them. Oh, I know, dude, the original iPhone, did you see one went at auction. It was for a few thousand dollars, I mean, and there's no telling.
HUNTER:Who would want?
Speaker 1:it, though it's a collectible.
HUNTER:On a, you would not open it.
Speaker 1:That is a huge Think about the turn of technology after the iPhone. That's crazy, Dude. It was just like a blink of an eye. Yeah, now we're on iPhone 17.
HUNTER:Dude, I feel like you blink your eye.
Speaker 1:We're just going to have the chips in us. What iPhone are?
HUNTER:we on now. The damn mark of the beast Is it 17? 16. How long until?
Speaker 1:your eyeball. It's connected to your eyeball and you're just like cross-eyed and you can just see. You can play games.
HUNTER:I don't know.
Speaker 1:You look at Elon's Neuralink or whatever. Is he the Antichrist? No, who's the Antichrist? Is it Elon? No, I don't think it's Elon. I think Elon generally wants to help society. I don't think he's. It seems like it and dude, one thing he wants to do is he wants to procreate.
HUNTER:I was about to say he likes life too much, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude is out there just DMing girls like, hey, let's make a baby Really. Yeah, I didn't know that there's a girl. Uh, ashley St, whatever St.
HUNTER:Claire, or whatever that he's having bro, I swear to God, dude.
Speaker 1:She's from Calvert Heights, moved to New York she's like big and conservative stuff and he found her, had a baby with her and she's the one that's like beefing on there because he only gave her like X amount of million and she had to sell her Tesla that he gave her and stuff. All right, bro, I'm out on Elon Musk now. If he's talking to a girl from Calvert Heights, I'm out, dude. I'm done with him. I used to love him. I loved him.
HUNTER:I loved him up until about five or ten minutes ago, I'm out.
Speaker 1:If you're Elon Musk dude, you're the richest man on this planet, calvert Heights, and you got a girl from Calvert Heights, buddy. You are up the wrong tree, God. She could look like Sidney Sweeney if she's from Calvert.
HUNTER:Heights. She don't look like Sidney Sweeney, but she ain't no damn Sidney Sweeney.
Speaker 1:She's got some damn Calvert Heights in her. Pull her up. Yeah, that's her. That's the girl from Calvert Heights. Wow, look up where she's from. Noah, just look up her name and then say where she's from she probably doesn't claim Calvert Heights. She probably claims. I owe you 20 bucks I owe you 20 bucks, if I'm wrong. Well, she probably doesn't claim it no that's stupid, because what do I get?
Speaker 1:if I'm right, nothing. But if you're out in LA and obviously it's a little different because Muscle Trolls is to someone that's from California or from New York or from anywhere in the country that doesn't know anything about Alabama, you're going to say Huntsville or Birmingham, right? Yeah, for sure, we're from Muscle Shoals, florence.
HUNTER:but to make it easy on people. Have you ever heard of Birmingham or Huntsville?
Speaker 1:I feel like if she's doing she's not going to claim Calvert Heights, she's going to claim Birmingham or Huntsville, or maybe even I think it's in her bio Memphis, I don't know. On X, I'm pretty sure it says out like Calvert Heights. Good for her. She fucked Elon. Yeah, I had a baby with him. No way.
HUNTER:Okay, it does not say on her thing how many babies does he have A bunch Like 10,?
Speaker 1:I think he's got that one. That's trans too Woof, yeah, hey, you can't go 10 for 10. 10 for 10 is on a hell of a batting average. You can't you. Sometimes you just gotta you know. Yeah, I feel like it's not You're right, I know I'm right.
Speaker 1:I just wanted you to prove me right. I don't have to see it. It's crazy, though, like how long is it going to be until you got the bot like the one, not like the Megan Fox one that's weird, because she was Megan Fox and a bot in the movie. Like, have one living in your house? I think we're further off anything from that. The thing about technology, too, is if they can make a buck off of it, they're going to do it Like there's not much technology that's hidden. No, no, no, we're a long way from that because of how expensive they would be for the average American. That's just not even. Maybe uber rich people could have a robot that would be like a house maid or like a butler or whatever, but not for normal people. I would say 10 years isn't crazy. Yeah, that's wild, bro. Think about how expensive that would be. Oh yeah, st Clair, my fault.
HUNTER:I was probably saying yeah, that was her to the wrong person earlier that was a picture of her, but then St Clair is evidently a porn star. That's why I was like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:geez she's next don't give Elon any ideas oh, I'm sure she's from Florida, dude, a Florida woman. Clear water, dirty. What dude? Am I stupid? What would be the math on that? An hour and 20 minutes would be what? 100 hour and 20 minutes would be 80 minutes. Damn dude, why did they do that? Why did they do like, that's like the? Uh, it's like why do we do the inches versus centimeters? Like just anti-British, yeah? And then we're just like we're going to do something completely different. We're going to do gallons, we're going to do quarts, we're going to do inches, we're going to do miles. Dude, the other system makes so much sense.
HUNTER:We had two pretty brutal wars with them, so I think they were just like you know what Fuck them.
Speaker 1:And they're just like we're just going to come up with the most ass system ever. It's just going to be complete opposite. Nothing's going to line up, it's going to be a bunch of decimals. That's before calculators you don't talk about damn, you're doing that long paper division. You're like, oh Dude, here comes another decimal, it's a never-ending. That's when they came up. I bet you that's when they came up with never-ending decimals. You know how we learned about what is that called the never-ending numbers, repeating decimal. That's when they came up with them is when they were having to transfer United States inches into centimeters. That's the first time they ever saw just a never-ending decimal. No, it was way before that. I don't know. I can promise you it was. You mean Pythagoras and all them was dealing with that. Well, pi was probably figured out way before the metric and the standard system. Oh yeah, they've been making pi for a long time. Shit, they've been making pi since shit, dude.
Speaker 1:Do you remember Pi Day at school? Yeah, and we'd have pizza. Yes. Do you remember pie day at school? Yeah, and we'd have pizza? Yes, but it was March 14th, 3.14. I used to know, like a lot of it, 3.1415926, something I ain't even going to make myself look stupid, I know it.
Speaker 1:I'm just. I know I don't know it, but I mean you know A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Do you know the pie number? I Plus B squared equals C squared. Do you know the pi number? I know 3.14. I don't know it. I don't know it.
HUNTER:No, it's 3.14159.
Speaker 1:Is it? I don't know anything past that. 2.65. That's really good, I don't know, that I'm not sure we need to bring a Rubik's Cube on here and let you solve it. I can derive an equation if y'all want me. I think I'm into that.
HUNTER:I don't know if that's staggering the masses. Yeah yeah, a lot of people aren't worried about Cowboy. You just go in there and you just do it wrong and me and Noah are just like yeah, good job, that seems right.
Speaker 1:I could write anything and y'all would be like yeah, Hell yeah. Is that a penis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did we derive to that? That's funny. Did we find out where St Clair was from?
HUNTER:Is that Alabama? No, it says Florida. And then you're raised in Colorado, she's gotten way too much attention.
Speaker 1:We're done with her. I just wanted to prove that I was right.
HUNTER:You were right. No, you're right Just give me that. Thank you, thank you, man. It didn't say that she never lived in Alabama. It said born in Florida.
Speaker 1:Nice. My buddy's down there and I just had another buddy move down there to Tampa. Got a free place to stay.
HUNTER:Dude Florida's a fucking.
Speaker 1:That is the wild, wild west.
HUNTER:They got alligators.
Speaker 1:They got Dude. It is kind of crazy Dude. Just Google Florida man today. Let me read off what Florida man is today. You want to see it? I bet it's funny have you ever done that?
HUNTER:Why do they say?
Speaker 1:Florida man. Every time Dude just Google. You should Google it every time.
HUNTER:Yeah, I remember on my birthday.
Speaker 1:Florida man here it is, you ready? It's like Florida man murders his family. Okay, three days ago, florida man called on camera pinning down an 11-year-old girl he thought was egging his home. All right, god.
HUNTER:Is he getting in?
Speaker 1:trouble for that? Surely right. Yeah, did she egg his house, though? I don't know. But, dude, you can read these eight hours ago florida man offers alcoholic drink to deputy during the vehicle chase florida man arrested for pooping on a possum in public there it is. Yeah, what did the possum call? That's a winner. That's a winner. The possum calls like it's getting shitty over here.
HUNTER:Dude, I'm telling you, bro, florida is a wild place it's so much kind of nasty, though they're probably like he's gross. Possum was like hell. Yeah, florida woman calls 9-1-1 over somebody's stealing her weed, oh god that's pretty normal, though.
Speaker 1:Stealing wheat, calling the cops though, I don't know. It depends if it's in a legal state or not.
HUNTER:I guess it is what it's like it it's pretty, it's like medical, medically legal.
Speaker 1:They're selling that Delta, whatever derivative Delta, nine, delta, nine. Yeah, they got flour in all the Indian gas stations here. I don't know how they get away with it. That's gotta be just weed they didn't get away with it.
Speaker 1:Every gas station here got busted, except for two or three, well, not the Sunoco that's got the Casa behind it, because I went in there last night and they got weed in there. It's crazy. Let them know. The Sonico off of Woodward, right by the Casa, has weed in it Marijuana, and it's probably good shit. It looks like it. I'm sure it is. Yeah, they had that shop blow up over here too. They had all the weed, vapes and stuff they're selling the kids. That was my parents' warehouse With the fentanyl in it what Still Not.
Speaker 1:that blew up. No, no, no, that was their warehouse five or six years ago. Oh, and then they got it after. Yeah, they haven't been in it since then, but like dude, that's crazy. I used to work there every day. I mean, I guess they're going to get in trouble.
Speaker 1:Apparently that's where they It'll be. Like everything else, nothing happens. So there's a conspiracy to it that all those gas station owners that got in trouble for selling all the weed pens and I guess they were selling whippets too, but apparently that was their warehouse where they stashed a lot of their drugs they were selling Viagra to kids too. Yeah, they were they where they stashed a lot of their drugs.
Speaker 1:They were selling Viagra to kids too. Yeah, they were. They were selling legit Viagra. There were 16-year-olds buying it, bro. Why are all these kids just bricked up walking around, Dude, that's so terrible.
HUNTER:Why does a 16-year-old need to go?
Speaker 1:If you're 16 and you need Viagra. Bro, you got some issues. You got a long life aheadra.
HUNTER:For the rest, of your life At 16,.
Speaker 1:The wind's just got to blow the wrong way and you just damn near need to just jam that thing between a door. Yeah, god, something like that, something like that. God, those were the days. Oh, yeah, I'm ready to do our scratch off. Yeah, you going to go ahead and do it? Yeah, I got one thing to say, though Another week has anything changed from a week ago? Who you would swap lives with? Anything happen this week? Who would I swap lives with this week? Shador Sanders? No, you wouldn't. I would swap lives with him. Just to feel how stupid it feels to think you're going number one with him. Just to feel how stupid it feels to think you're going number one. Didn't he wear the custom Giants cleats or whatever? I don't know?
HUNTER:I don't think he knew.
Speaker 1:He didn't think he was going one, but I think he thought I wouldn't swap with him.
HUNTER:I'm just kidding, I picked the wrong guy.
Speaker 1:Maybe that would be the guy I wouldn't swap with. Actually, I wouldn't swap with Shannon Sharp. Right now he's getting shook down by an OnlyFans girl that he Speaking of Viagra. He's like a. He always does the commercials for him. I see Hems or something, or One of them that he's like it gets you bricked up. Dude him and that dude he.
HUNTER:It was with an OnlyFans model too, bro. Come on, have some decency.
Speaker 1:Bro, how stupid can you be? You know bad things are going to happen when you start sleeping with these young OnlyFans girls that are out for one thing and it's money, like dude Shannon. Come on, bro, you're a Hall of Famer Dude. She's going to get paid too, she sure is. He offered $10 million in settlement and she said no, and she's going to take him to trial over. She wants $50 million. Did you see the Shane Gillis? I don't know anything about it. He was like, but the only thing I can gather is I saw the video of Shannon Sharp and he's like they're going to release a 30-second tape.
HUNTER:Release the 10-minute version.
Speaker 1:He's just letting everybody know that I last longer I didn't bust in 30 seconds. Pretty much is what he's saying. Hey, I went 10 minutes, y'all released the whole thing. Well, dude, everybody thinks Shannon, thinks shannon sharp's gay antonio brown tweets that he loves.
HUNTER:Is he just doing?
Speaker 1:this. Is he just doing this to prove that he's not gay?
Speaker 1:what a horrible way 50 million dollars where he leaked or accidentally went instagram live and he was fucking that girl just to prove that he's not gay or just to show that he does sleep with women and not men. What a brutal time we live in, dude, shea, shea. It feels like everything's just. It's like everybody just does everything for clicks. It feels like I wouldn't be surprised if this lawsuit's not even real and they just wanted to get a bunch of clicks off of it. No, that's not true. He's going to lose his job.
HUNTER:I bet you that girl's OnlyFans is booming.
Speaker 1:Oh no, she's doing it for it, but for him.
HUNTER:He's been at ESPN for six months and now two big things have dropped about him. What a way to promote your OnlyFans.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's brutal. That is actually brutal we don't have to end after this. I'm just dude. I'm itching. You're itching to gamble, I'm itching to gamble. Which one do you want? I don't know.
HUNTER:These are $10 lottery tickets let's look at the numbers.
Speaker 1:You pick a number, so seven. Well, just say even or odd, odd, here you go you got, was it a seven, number nine shit, I got ten.
Speaker 1:Dude. If we win $300,000, I will. Oh my god, dude. This will be the last episode of the podcast ever I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be on an island. First episode's. The last episode of the podcast ever I'm going to be on an island. First episode is the last one. Yeah, I don't know, maybe my number is bigger than 300K. First number is 19. I'm going to use this beer tap to scratch this off. It's good luck, right, this will work. Number 48.
HUNTER:Best thing to do is just scratch it all the way and then damn, I'm going gonna have to vacuum now because there's just these things get shit.
Speaker 1:I've been a degenerate and drank at the gas station in tennessee and did this here. This works way better really. I'm serious. Use it from the side. Beer top, yeah. Beer tap. The tab oh my god, it's fantastic.
Speaker 1:Huh, you just went to the state line and drank beer and played scratch offs. Uh, we used to do it in high school. That does sound like a fun time, actually. Well, when you're a kid and you think not when you're a kid we were 18 at the time when you could finally buy lottery tickets Still a kid I was going to be rich. Dude, if I hit this. 100k, it's going to be crazy. Or 300K, dude, this actually works way better than a key it does.
Speaker 1:Is that what they do, beer companies? They know that they want you to gamble and do scratch-offs, so they make these things just so good. No, that's not at all what they do, it's just coincidence. Hey, I got a question. I think this is a loser, buddy. I got a question. If you hit it are, are you gonna split it with me? Yeah, I'll split it with you. If you hit yours, you lost already. I just want you to split it with me. That's fair. We both get 150k. That'd be fun. Is yours a loser. I've got three numbers left, just I'm just checking. All right, god dude, this shit gets everywhere. Yeah, it does.
HUNTER:Ugh.
Speaker 1:All right, my winning number is 19. Do we have any 19s? No 19s, a loss brother 48. Man, what a fucking 48. What a bummer. No 48s, that's a loser no 50s, you didn't have one winner. I didn't have one, I think it went right at the camera.
HUNTER:Dude am.
Speaker 1:I illiterate what's going on. 44, don't have one. There's no way, dude, you don't have any. 46? When we go by more, you can just have them scan. 14, you won. Yeah, let me see another ticket.
HUNTER:Jesus Christ, I'm not going to, I'm gonna should I rip it up or should I go use?
Speaker 1:it. I'll go back and get another for the next episode and we can use that for a free ticket. Let's go, dude. I got one more chance at it. Yeah, let's go, but we're splitting it, so it's half a month winning ticket I've got half, I'm gonna try to toss it at it I don't want to throw it because I want, but yeah, you shouldn't throw winners.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go pick that up. Well, dude, it's been fun. Yeah, it's been fun riffing, talking, bullshitting what you got later, uh, dinner to go to dinner? Yeah, let's go eat. We got, let's watch the draft dude. Nfl draft. Second, it's been fun riffing, talking, bullshitting what you got later Dinner. You want to go to dinner? Yeah, let's go eat. Let's watch the draft. Dude. Nfl draft Second round's tonight.
HUNTER:What time does it come on?
Speaker 1:Seven. I think Maybe my Bengals will do something. Good, Joe Burrow, talk the boys into something. How?
HUNTER:many teams did you do each round 32. Yeah, 32. Um how many each round?
Speaker 1:32, yeah, 32 one for the amount of teams, and there's seven you said it starts at seven. I think so that that makes logical sense yep, but every team doesn't have a pick every round because there's trades made. Um, yeah, sometimes like a team will have two picks, yeah, or sometimes, or you're the Bears and you have, I think, what the bears have two top 10 picks last year because they took caleb williams and uh, dude from washington, a dunes, a oh yeah, they did didn't they dude.
Speaker 1:People don't talk about this. This is a uh. It's not even a hot take, it's a real take. But people don't talk about how unbelievably loaded the 2020 draft class was. Was that joe burrow? Not just joerow, but there were five quarterbacks.
HUNTER:That was that class, though.
Speaker 1:Five quarterbacks given 200 plus million dollar extensions.
HUNTER:Lamar.
Speaker 1:No, lamar was 2018. It's Joe Burrow, justin Herbert, tua, jalen Hurts, jordan Love oh my god, all five of those are in that one class. And then, not to mention you probably got one of the best starts in nfl career ever as a receiver jordan jefferson, or justin jefferson, jordan's brother. He was drafted that year too. Yeah, he was the 18th or 19th pick, and then what a class dude there's there were eight all pros or eight pro bowlers from the second round yeah, bro, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a, that's a good group. Uh, I love, I love seeing the reactions of uh when they draft like the. They drafted patrick mahomes and they're like oh my god, this is why this organization will never win a super bowl. Or the reactions to the bills fans when they drafted josh allen and they're in a pub and they're just like, oh so stupid.
Speaker 1:Somebody always hates the pick, no matter what I mean a lot of times they do pick stupid shit, but yeah, but I like to see the ones that flop in their face. I'm not sold on the cam ward guy flopping. Jesus gay for a day? Huh, all right, let's do it. I don't want to talk about that, dude, let's end it with it, let's go.
Speaker 1:If you could be gay for a day, what would you do? I guess the thing is you can, you can be for one day. But I was telling you earlier we were joking about this. I was like dude, what does it change? I mean, I'm not fucking a dude. And if I were gay for a day, what really changes, dude? It's just a matter of who you like or not. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't saying you had to, I was thinking about the good things of it. I don't know, I might be friends with all the hot girls. Exactly that wouldn't be bad. The thing you got to do is you got to be, you got to do the sleepover with all the girls. You know they're all doing the bubble bath and shit and they're like that's the gay friend he can be in here.
Speaker 1:That's the straightness wanting to do that. Friend, he's okay, he can come in here. Oh, how do I look in this dress? And then they change it, and so he's okay. He doesn't even like this. Yeah, but that's, that's the. I don't think the gay guys like like, that's not you don't have to actually be gay.
Speaker 1:You get to pretend Okay, so you just get to get the perks of it. You don't have to actually do anything. I don't know, a few years ago I would have been in. Oh God, you'd be booted now I know, dude, but I would have made my money while I could during the other administration. But yeah, I don't know, you couldn't get no DEI thing now.
Speaker 1:But that's what you do if you're gay, for a day you just got to be the friend, and I feel like that's a long game too. A day doesn't like a day's not going to do anything for you. Like the gay friend, he could be a slut, like if he was actually straight and he was like behind enemy lines. Like the gay friend could play out like after a long time. They're like he's gay and they're like I'm not into him. And then like they start like you're around them all the time, you're comforting them, and then like, next thing, you know it's like, by the way, I'm not even gay and they're like okay, so that'd be like a two year plan. Probably you couldn't. You couldn't get all that in a day. No, you couldn't. Speaking of gay people, though, respect the gay people that turn gay in a place where gays are like.
HUNTER:Alabama.
Speaker 1:That's what I was going to say. If you're gay in San Francisco, you're a pussy. If you're gay in Alabama, you're a tough son bitch dude. I'm telling you right now that say shit to you and talk to you like they do in Alabama. It's crazy. If you turn gay in a liberal state, bro, that's easy. Bro, you turn gay in Florence, alabama. Come on, baby, you about to get some shit somewhere dude or, even worse, gay in Muscle Shoals, alabama, oh God. Gay in Haleville, alabama, oh.
HUNTER:God.
Speaker 1:That's way worse. Halival, Winston County. Winston County is living in 1970.
HUNTER:They're going to pick you apart. The free state of Winston, anywhere south of Birmingham, pretty much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually, I shouldn't have said Florence. Florence is pretty liberal overall. Yeah, it's very progressive. Florence is actually a good place to be gay. I heard the other day that Florence had Speaking from experience.
HUNTER:I did it for a day, for one day.
Speaker 1:Dude, speaking from experience, I did it for a day, Dude, it was one day. I did it for one day. It was one afternoon, dude. Oh, I still think about this. It was 30 minutes of Wildwood and I'll never do it again. Oh, I remember that day. I could tell you everything about that day. No, but seriously though, props to being gay in the South and not like dude.
HUNTER:You can't be gay in the South right now you ain't faking that shit in Alabama People down here are way too mean and way too like dude.
Speaker 1:If you walk through downtown wherever in Alabama and you have painted fingernails or you just can outwardly show that you're gay, you're a brave soldier, buddy, and I kind of props to you. I wish I had your courage. Yeah, I wish I had your courage too. No-transcript.
